Category: 2023 Oscars
Open Post: Hosted By Jenny The Donkey Enjoying Her Peaceful Life Away From The Oscars
With all the talk of a bunch of Irish people getting recognition in this year’s Oscars, let’s not forget who the real star of Ireland actually is: Jenny the donkey! Jenny stole the show in the critically acclaimed The Banshees of Inisherin, which is up for nine Oscars tonight. She played Colin Farrell’s best friend in the film and won over everyone’s hearts. Now that Jenny is a bona fide STAH, has fame gone to this beast of burden’s head? Nope! Jenny is just enjoying the simple life in a secret location in the Irish midlands. If only other actors would take a page from Jenny’s book.
“Blonde” Named Worst Picture At The Razzies
It’s OSCUH Day!! Who is going to be crowned prom king and queen of Hollywood? We only have a scant few hours to find out. In the meantime, the Academy Awards’ ugly sister the Razzies has already taken place, so we finally know who got the pig’s blood dropped on them. And the winner is…Blonde! I wonder if Ana de Armas and the film crew told Marilyn Monroe’s grave that they were getting her blessing for making the worst film of 2022.
Sarah Ferguson Might Present At The Oscars Thanks To Her Friendship With Lisa Marie Presley
The decidedly unhip British Invasion 2.0 continues apace with The Sun reporting that since she and her free-loading, no-rent paying roommate/ex-husband Prince Andrew got booted out of their Royal Lodge by his brother King Charles III, Sarah Ferguson aka Original Fergie, has been nosing around on this side of the pond, and has already “struck up a close friendship with” a “mysterious Texan billionaire” while “networking in the US.” And Fergie’s next conquest might take place at this Sunday’s Oscars ceremony. The Sun reports that Fergie may even take the stage to hand out an award based on her “very close” friendship with the Presley family, recently-deceased Lisa Marie Presley in particular. My, my, my; m’lady sure does get around!
Open Post: Hosted By Jamie Lee Curtis Skipping The Oscar Nominee Dinner Because “Mommy Goes to Bed Early”
Jamie Lee Curtis doesn’t give a fuck. See: the time she shit on every movie that wasn’t Everything Everywhere All At Once, her helpful reminder that Lea Michele doesn’t have a Tony, her 2019 beef with The Figi Water Girl, and the seven years she spent shilling yogurt that makes you shit. Last night, the Hollywood Reporter (via Insider) interviewed Jamie at the Independent Spirit Awards, and the actress dropped some piping hot Oscar tea: there’s a very exclusive nominee dinner this Thursday, it starts at 7:30 PM, and she’s not going. Why? Cuz “mommy goes to bed early.” And yes, JLC is mommy.
Austin Butler Says That He’s Getting Rid Of His Elvis Accent
Oscar nominee and Vanessa Hudgen’s best friend, Austin Butler, is getting rave reviews and ovations for his performance in Elvis. He’s already won a Golden Globe, so now he’s got to campaign campaign CAMPAIGN to win the fight against Brendan Fraser, Colin Farrell, Bill Nighy, and Paul Mescal. We already heard from Austin’s singing coach that he probably shook up his vocal cords with his Elvis voice so much that it might stick with him FOREVER. And now Austin’s talking, and well, Elvis (or his accent, anyway) will be leaving the building (Austin’s vocal cords) soon.
The Academy Is Looking Into Whether Andrea Riseborough’s Oscar Campaign Broke Any Rules
It’s officially Oscar time. Only 45 days until the day after the Academy Awards when we’re treated to a million think pieces angrily wondering why the youth won’t willingly watch a 15-hour broadcast. It’s probably because of all that TikTok-ing! In the meantime, we’ll have to get our Oscar fill by reading up on think pieces about the current crop of nominees and who is more deserving of having the coveted gold paperweight. While Ke Huy Quan and Michelle Yeoh should sweep EVERYTHING (yes, even Best Animated Short Film, I don’t care), some nominees are getting the side-eye (cough Andrea Riseborough cough). The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has begun an investigation into Andrea’s unusual grassroots campaign to get that OSCUH. Academy members are probably thrilled that this year’s scandal doesn’t involve a slap!