Michael Jackson will perform his classic hit “Thriller” at the World Music Awards in Monaco next week. Producers of the show say he will receive the Diamond Award given to artists who have sold more than 100 Million album worldwide.

Jacko has remained in hiding since he was acquitted of child molestation charges last year. This performance will mark his return and no doubt give us something to laugh at.

Below is an interview that Jacko gave recently to Billy Bush. I’m not sure who scares me more, Jacko or Bush? Jacko has clearly lost his mind and everyone around him seems in a daze. This performance is going to be AMAZING and by amazing, I mean a GRADE A train wreck.

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Kevin Federline’s debut album “Playing With Fire” sold a whopping 6,500 copies and debuted at #151 on the Billboard Chart. I think Britney probably sells that in one minute. I mean even Brooke Hogan beat his ass. Her album debuted at #28. While KFed celebrated the obscene failure of his album, Britney skated around Rockefeller Center in NYC.

Ryan Philippe will not comment on his alleged affair with Abby Cornis that may have led to the break-up of his marriage to Reese Witherspoon. He is denying media reports that’s he uses drugs and parties every night like it’s 1999.

He told People Magazine, “I’m not a perfect person, but I’m not guilty of a lot of the things I have been accused of. My priority is and always has been the health and safety of my family.”

Not a perfect person? That’s married man language for, “I cheated on the hag and I don’t give a fuck!”

TV producer and writer, Diane English, will make her directorial debut with a remake of the classic film, “The Women.” The film was based on a play of the same name. Most recently, there was a Broadway revival of the play that starred Cynthia Nixon and Jennifer Tilly. “The Women” tells the story of rich NYC society women and the gossip that surrounds them. The story will be updated and still set in New York.

Meg Ryan, Anne Hathaway, Lisa Kudrow and Candice Bergen are attached to star. Shooting will begin this Spring.

Meg Ryan?! Who keeps casting this hatchet-face? I’d rather watch a full-length feature film about the Anorexic Twins than deal with her fugly ass. This movie is gonna suck hard.

Last night in Beverly Hills, Nicole Richie attended the Chanel Fine Jewelry dinner to celebrate something stupid probably. Dinner? Ok, she had lemon water and a tic-tac. From the neck down she looks hot. That poop brown hair makes her look more elderly and more sick. Homegirl needed to stay in that rehab facility and eat some damn apple sauce. That being said, the dress is hot.

TMZ is reporting something truly laughable. KFed is apparently going to try and fight Britney Spears for custody of their two children, Jayden James and SPF. His sole reason for doing this is cash. KFed can’t fight the pre-nup, because it’s iron clad. So, he’s going to go after sole custody of his two children which will give him more dollars. Britney has been primary caretaker to both boys, so I doubt KFed is that stupid to pull this sort of crap. Ok,maybe he is.

Life & Style is reporting that KFed is severely shocked over these latest developments and he had no idea this was coming. Although, sources say that last May he met with a divorce lawyer of his own. He wanted to sue for sole custody to try and get more cash out of Britney, at least $10 million.

Lastly, ONTD has a video of KFed shot on Monday where he talks about his material goods and how proud Britney is of him. He’s also caught texting with someone and walks away visibly upset. Damn, she told him through text message!

Couldn’t they have gotten a quickee divorce in Mexico? Now we’re going to have to live with a million stories coming out of this for the next several months. Damn them!