I need a little more Ashley Judd in my life. I’m so sick of these Blohans and Paris’, I need a normal person. Anyway, here she is not looking that amazing at the Come Early Morning premiere. The movie opens today and is getting buzz. Maybe Oscar buzz? Someone hand this ho a kleenex to handle her sweat.

Humiliated frat boys sue Borat – AP

KFed is turning to booze and ciggies to deal with the Brit split. So, nothing has changed – Contact Music

Cameron Diaz is fixing her nose. Let’s get some money together and also pay the surgeon to stitch up her mouth as well – Gabsmash

Ashlee Simpson needs a bath – ICYDN

Kim Cattrall upskirt. Eek. – SOW

How did I miss this? It’s Bobby Brown and Mike Tyson dressed as vampires singing (I use the term loosely) “Monster Mash” on Jimmy Kimmel Live. How did this happen? Who signed off on this? Is Tyson mentally retarded? So many questions?!

Thanks Buffy

Val Kilmer was asked this strange question and he of course went with Oprah. I mean, who wouldn’t? He said, “I would choose Oprah, any day of the week. Sorry, Nicole.”

I mean I’d go with Oprah, because she could take it like a champ. Nicole has the body of a 7-year-old boy and unlike Jacko, I’m not into that. She’d also moan and complain about how it hurt. Oprah would probably talk dirty to you about how she went to dinner with Nelson Mandela.

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Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes at The Black Ball on 11/9

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will probably not get their dream Catholic wedding in Italy. There had been reports that the couple would have a Catholic ceremony in Italy. According to some Italian religious person named Monsignor Nicola Fiorentini that ain’t going to happen.

Why? Well, it’s not because Cruise is a crazed maniac, it’s cause he’s divorced. “Cruise is divorced. Even if the actor were not divorced, another fundamental requirement to validate the rite would be missing: the authorization of the parish.”

Italy will also not recognize a Scientology ceremony, because they don’t believe in alien nonsense.

So what’s a Cruise today? He’ll do what he does best. Buy them off to keep them quiet.

She should stick a cork in it next time, so this doesn’t happen.

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