The “Who Cares?” News
It Will Cost You Another $100,00 to Have Her Stank Removed
Parasite Hilton is sniffing around for a New Year’s Eve gig. She has put out the word that she will host a party in Miami, New York or Los Angeles in your honor for the rock-bottom price of $100,000 plus expenses and a private jet.
Paris feels that she’s worth every penny and thinks one hundred grand is a fair price. Carmen Electra has also put out feelers, but her price is substantially lower at $50,000 without a private jet.
Ok, so if I pay this whore $100,000 to come to my party do I get whatever I want? Like can we play “Pin the Tail on the Whore” with her as the title character? Can we get her to swim in a pool full of stingrays?
And does this her price cover fumigation costs after the event? So many questions!
Mess of the Spiderwoman
Look at this hot mess. Chita Rivera looks like a deer with a little wig and some eye work caught in the headlights at some Broadway event last night in the NYC. Bitch borrowed that wig from Michael Jackson. Again, photographers need to realize that messes like this should only have their picture taken from at least 100 yards away.
Donna Hogan Might Be Trashier Than Anna Nicole Smith
Anna Nicole Smith’s piece of trash sister, Donna Hogan, is already writing a book about her infamous sister and the death of her nephew, Daniel Smith. Daniel was only buried days ago and this bitch is already making money off his ass. I guess this sort of behavior runs in the family.
The book is tilted “Train Wreck: Anna Nicole Smith Unauthorized” which is actually a really hot title. In the book, Donna blames her sister for the death of Daniel. She claims that Anna neglected her son and is addicted to pain killers. She also said Anna was aware that Daniel was taking drugs and she didn’t do anything to stop it.
“[Anna] waits forever to bury him and two days after he dies, she’s selling pictures of him to the tabloids and I’m thinking, ‘What a freaking waste of a human being, my sister is.”
Anna had this comment, “Donna who? Sister what? Where’s Sugarpie?” Honestly people, where in the World is Sugarpie?
In other Anna news, sources close to the pill popper claim that she confessed to them that Larry Birkhead was the father during her pregnancy. Howard K. Stern is adamant that he is the father. Oh and Anna’s been evicted from her home in the Bahamas.
Evictions, tell-all books, blackmail, suicide, pill-popping…Jackie Collins look no further for your next book! I just can’t wait for the Lifetime movie where Anna will no doubted play herself! It will put Fantasia’s biopic to shame in the camp category.
Don’t Touch That Blood!!
Pete Doherty is at it again! The singer was left bloody after a fist fight in Italy. Pete attacked an Italian photographer and the bitch fought back leaving Pete with a bloody mess.
The fight was broken up and Petey returned to his hotel with a couple of girls he met at the gig he just played. Band members from Babyshambles joined in on the brawl using ashtrays as weapons. The police were not called, but the photographer planned to file a complaint. This wasn’t the only fight the band took part in that night. Moments earlier Petey threw a microphone stand into the crowd making one audience very angry. The audience bitch then threw a bottle, hitting the drummer.
Kate Moss is such a very smart girl. She’s marrying such a gentleman and a fella that will only treat with her with utmost respect. I can already see the beautiful and romantic nights they will spend together in fucking jail!!
The World Will End on November 18th
TomKat’s rep confirmed they will be legal on November 18th.
Guests have been notified to keep the weekend of November 16-19 free for some kind of party. The spokeswhore confirms this, —“All those details are correct, proper security measures are being taken.”
He also confirmed that they will marry in Italy and she will wear Giorgio Armani. Giorgio said, “When I am asked by a friend to make a wedding wardrobe, it goes straight to my heart. It really is an honor to play a small role in that milestone moment.”
We all need to find our local bomb shelters; because this is the day the aliens will plummet from the sky and reclaim their planet. Suri will be the new leader of the World and we will all be doomed. This is also the day that Katie Holmes has officially sold her soul.
P.S. – Pictures of cats are much more entertaining than pics of their crazy mugs.