Jessica’s Mother Beat Her Ass for Screwing Up “9 to 5”

/ December 7, 2006

Ok, not really. But apparently Tina Simpson scolded her daughter in front of President Bush and Dolly Parton for her little performance flub that everyone has seen a zillion times.

TMZ reports:

Tina Simpson was furious with Jess after she flubbed lyrics, stood statue-still on stage while trying to hold her dress up, and then awkwardly hurried off with a few mumbled words to Parton. Tina told her daughter that the performance was “embarrassing” and “unprofessional,” and mom was further incensed because Jessica had missed a dress rehearsal and hadn’t adequately learned lyrics to the song — which necessitated cue cards at the front of the stage. Jessica can be clearly seen reading from the cards during her performance.

Papa Joe apparently didn’t think it was bad and thought it was cute and should stay in the show, but producers didn’t like that idea and reshot it. Papa Joe probably liked seeing his daughter clutch her stomach like that. I like Tina, she’s a hard ass. You know President Bush was too busy looking at Chestica’s chest to figure out what was going on.

Dolly has forgiven Jessica and said that if she was in the same position she “would probably be so nervous and forget to wear her wig!” Dolly’s the hotness.

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Bai Ling Talks Lost

/ December 7, 2006

Bai Ling will appear on 3 episodes of “Lost” next year as Jack’s (Matthew Fox) lover. I’m so proud. She actually got herself a respectful job!

She said, “When we were shooting the scene we didn’t know each other, but he is very handsome and very kind. You are kind of nervous when you are doing those love scenes and you don’t know each other … sometimes I’m on top of him, sometimes he’s on top of me … It was fun, really spontaneous and real. We have this natural chemistry, we don’t have to talk to figure out what we’re going to do.”

In Bai Ling talk that means she raped him.

Just for shits (no honestly, you will go caca in your pants) and giggles here’s one of Bai Ling’s unforgettable performances on the reality show “But Can They Sing?” I’m still waiting for her album.

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4 Skanks. 1 Dress. Same Night

/ December 7, 2006

Three dumb old-whores showed up to the Kennedy Center Honors this past weekend in the same dress that Laura Bush wore. These women dropped $8500 clams for the Oscar De La Renta fug gown. Laura noticed this little mishap and changed her dress halfway through the event.

Umm….that dress look like it was bought at Dress Barn. It’s one thing to get caught in the same dress as 3 other skanks, but it’s another thing to get caught in that FUG dress.

Let’s hope Laura got it for free, because I will not be happy if my hard-earned cash went to pay for that frock!

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Jennifer Hudson is Not a Gay Hater

/ December 7, 2006

Yesterday, I posted a quote in which Jennifer Hudson basically said being gay is a sin. She has shot back and swears she’s not a gay hater. She has a lot of gay friends and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it.

She said, “In a recent interview, I was asked how I reconciled being a Christian with performing at events for my gay fans. I find it upsetting that some folks equate being a Christian with being intolerant of gay people. That may, unfortunately, be true for some, but it is not true for me. I have talked often of my love and support of the gay community. I have said again and again that it was the gay community that supported me long before and long after American Idol, and kept me working and motivated. It is the gay community that celebrated my voice and my size and my personality long before Dreamgirls. Yes, I was raised Baptist. Yes, I was taught that the Bible has certain views on homosexuality. The Bible also teaches us not to judge. It teaches us to love one another as God loves us all. I love my sister, my two best friends and my director dearly. They happen to be gay. So what? While some search for controversy, I hope that my friends and fans who know me, know where I stand.”

Smart move on her part since 99% of her fans are probably gays. I mean…Dreamgirls? Dreamgays more like it.

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