R.I.P. SPF2

/ October 24, 2006


TMZ solved the mystery of Britney Spears’ and KFed’s second child. There were rumors that it was a girl, but it’s a boy. Unfortunately, the name of the birth certificate, filed today, is Jayden James Federline NOT Sutton Pierce Federline. KFed signed the thing himself on September 13th. He can’t read too good, so SPF probably read him the details.

So there you go! Jayden James Federline it is! Click here to see the certificate, like you care.

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Courtney Gets Blohan’s Sloppy Seconds

/ October 24, 2006


Lindsay Blohan and James Burke had a little thing about six months ago. James, 20, and Blohan hooked up in NYC and were spotted making out and shit. I guess James comes recommended, because Courtney Love, 42, is now tapping the meat. The pair were seen together at Mr. Chow in Los Angeles and left kissing and holding hands.

A witness said, “They definitely looked like they were on a date, and they seemed really into each other.”

He’s fug and greasy. I’m glad that these Hollywood trolls keep it in the family though. It would gross me out just to think that I’m sucking a dick that was once in a firecrotch. I’d do it anyway though.

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The Hottest Couple in Hollywood

/ October 24, 2006


Halle & Gabriel at “Paddle Out Protest”

Halle Berry and her boy-toy, Gabriel Aubry, are currently the hottest celeb couple right now. Yes, they probably have half a brain cell between them, but that doesn’t matter. My only question is…do you think he’s hung large? I say no. Unfortunately.

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Say It Ain’t So!

/ October 24, 2006


Porn Star and daughter of California, Mary Carey has unfortunately dropped out of the California Governor race to care for her ill mother. Mary ran back in 2003 and lost out to Arnold Schwarzenegger by just a few hundred million votes. So close!

She will relocate to Florida and care for her mentally ill mother who is in critical condition after jumping off of a building. Mary said, “She’s schizophrenic and didn’t take her medication and jumped off a building “She broke both of her legs, shattered her feet and shattered four vertebrae in back It’s remarkable she survived As much as I want to help the state of California be a better place, I think it is more important to be with my mom and help her I am only 26 and have many more years to be involved in politics . For now I would just like to ask everyone to pray for a healthy recovery”

26 in dog years?! Mary is making the right choice. That sucks cause I can still vote in California and I was going to vote for her ass and I mean her ass, literally. My thoughts and prayers are with Mary and I’m sure the beautiful state of California will survive without her. Besides, there’s only room for one cocksucker (Arnold).

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It Will Cost You Another $100,00 to Have Her Stank Removed

/ October 24, 2006


Parasite Hilton is sniffing around for a New Year’s Eve gig. She has put out the word that she will host a party in Miami, New York or Los Angeles in your honor for the rock-bottom price of $100,000 plus expenses and a private jet.

Paris feels that she’s worth every penny and thinks one hundred grand is a fair price. Carmen Electra has also put out feelers, but her price is substantially lower at $50,000 without a private jet.

Ok, so if I pay this whore $100,000 to come to my party do I get whatever I want? Like can we play “Pin the Tail on the Whore” with her as the title character? Can we get her to swim in a pool full of stingrays?

And does this her price cover fumigation costs after the event? So many questions!

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