British singer, Taio Cruz, said that he was in the studio the day Tricky Stewart finished Rihanna's hit song "Umbrella." He told Tricky that he had to have the song immediately, but Tricky said it was on hold for Britney Spears.

 

Taio said, "As soon as I heard it I said: ‘That is a smash, I have to have it,’ but he told me it was on hold for Britney.

“I told him I didn’t think Britney would be able to sing it – she ­hasn’t got the right accent – but he said he was keeping it for her anyway. He waited but Britney’s people never called him back.”

 

He said that after Britney never called Tricky back, he recorded the song, but his label didn't think it worked with him. Rihanna eventually got the song that has become one the biggest hits of the year. Ooooh Britney!

 

Something tells me that song really wouldn't be the same with Brit Brit singing. Imagine her ass bouncing around with an umbrella! Fantasia's Dance of the Hours anyone?

 

In other Brit Brit news…yesterday her car ran out of gas and the cops had to push it to the nearest gas station. Oh and she got a ticket too!

 

And….Brit has apparently hired a private investigator to get dirt on KFed.

 

Why is it always drama with Britney? Always! She needs to get a clue and realize her life would be a lot simpler if she kept her ass at home, but methinks that's not what our little girl from the south wants!

 

 

 

 

 

If it's not a Brangelina adoption rumor, it's a Madonna adoption rumor! This time there are reports that the big M will adopt a little girl from Malawi. She has reportedly picked out a 13-month named Mercy. She spotted the girl after looking at 10 girls last October.

 

According to The Sun , Madonna will travel to Africa in April to pick her up. Mercy beat out two other girls to win a place in Madonna's family. A source claims M wants a girl to balance out her household. She currently has 2 sons and 1 daughter.  

 

She has also instructed her lawyer to cover all legal bases, because she doesn't want another adoption nightmare.

 

I can picture Madge strolling into the orphanage, lining those girls up and going over them with a measuring tape and scale.  

 

Let's just say I'll believe it when I see it! A few months ago there was that rumor about her adopting another boy, but she does have an album coming up to promote…hmm…

 

 

 

Leona Helmsley was so damn hot that I can't stand it! That royal bitch left her favorite bitch, Trouble, $12 Million!!! Leona's precious maltese dog was given a trust fund that was made public yesterday. Leon's brother, Alvin Rosenthal, was also given millions and named as Trouble's caretaker. Trouble will also be buried next to Leona in a luxurious mausoleum. The mausoleum must also be steam-cleaned once a year.

 

Leona left $5 Million each to 2 of her four grandchildren, but they must visit their father's grave site once a year or they don't get SHIT! She didn't leave one red cent to her other 2 grandchildren for "reasons they are aware of." Damn, she's so hot! 

 

I never thought in my life that I would have the desire to marry a female let alone a female bitch, but Trouble is just the one for me. We'll have such a beautiful life together Trouble! I'll sniff your butt as much as you want and chew the beedy beeds off your precious hair. 

 

Source

 

 

 

The new cast of "Dancing with the Stars" was revealed on GMA this morning. The list is sort of like the one leaked a few days ago, but thankfully Gisele Bundchen is not part of the cast. Neither is Tori Spelling. I don't think I'd be able to watch if Tori was hopping around in anything backless. Anyway, here's the list and some I know and some I've never heard of in my life!

 

Jennie Garth – Actress of Beverly Hills 90210 fame

Marie Osmond – Overall crazy and doll fanatic

Albert Reed – WHO? Apparently, he's a model of some sorts

Scary Spice – Eddie Murphy's #1 fan

Helio Castronetes – Race car driver

Jane Seymour – Total MILF and Dr. Quinn

Jose Maran – WHO? Apparently, she's a model of some sorts

Sabrina Bryan – Member of the Cheetah Girls

Mark Cuban – Billionaire

Cameron Mathison – Soap star

Floyd Maywather – Boxer

Wayne Newton – Plastic robot

 

Jane Seymour for the win! I'm expecting an all-female final 3, because those dudes look BLEAK.

 

Source

 

 

 

 

 

Lindsay Lohan has allowed her estranged father, Michael Lohan, to visit her in rehab. Linds hasn't seen her father in years due to his crazy antics, violent behavior and abusive temper. Um…she wrote that AMAZING song about it. "Daughter to father! Daughter to father!…." Now I'm going to have that retarded tune in my head all day long. Anyway, the Lohan's think by Lindsay meeting with her daddy it will heal a lot of her open wounds. I'm pretty sure genital wart cream will help close those "wounds."

 

A source said, "It was actually her older brother, Michael's, idea. It's a part of the healing process. Lindsay will see him later this week, but she will have counselors with her. It will not be alone."

 

The source also says that White Oprah thinks it's a good idea. Of course, she does! She's probably already booked a few camera crews, a studio audience, a Master of Ceremonies, Maury Povich, Boy Shakira and a Jumbotron.

 

Source: Page Six

 

 

 

Courtney Love has piped in on who she think is the cause of Owen Wilson's problems. Of course, Court had to put her crack cents in. Court feels that Steven Coogan aka Alan Partridge is partly to blame for Owen's downward spiral. Owen and Steve were due to appear in Tropic Thunder together.

 

Court said, "Under normal circumstances I wouldn't comment but I care too much about Owen.  I went through it with Steve. I tried to warn Owen. I tried to warn his friends."

 

She thinks Steve took Owen's drug use to the next level. The Daily Mail reports that the morning of his attempted suicide, Owen had taken a cocktail of Meth and Oxycontin.  

 

UsWeekly reports that Owen visited a church in his Santa Monica neighborhood days before his attempted suicide which leads them to believe he might have been acting out of desperation. But maybe they were having a bake sale? Those churches have the BEST baked goods! 

 

Wait…..didn't Owen ask for privacy? DAMN! I can never take direction. I'm awful at that. I gotta write this down "GIVE OWEN HIS PRIVACY."