The New York Daily News is reporting that Britney Spears will indeed perform "Gimme More" at the MTV VMAs on September 9th in Las Vegas with magical douche, Criss Angel helping her out. They claim Britney will disappear and and vanish between a series of mirrors throughout her performance. They better get jumbo mirrors. Her dancers will also be harnessed up to take flight.

 

Other media outlets reports that Timbaland, HBIC of the show, doesn't want her on at all. He thinks she'll take the shine off of the other performers.

 

In other BS news, bitch is rich! TMZ has uncovered divorce documents between her and KFed. The documents claim BS makes an average of $737,868 a month. KFed is currently taking home $20,000 a month, but it all ends in November. KFed's lawyer also wants Brit to pay up $50,000 in his legal fees.

 

Homegirl makes $700k a month and she looks like that?! That's a damn shame! That just goes to show you….you can take the girl out of the trailer park, but you….well you know the rest.

 

It's also pretty sad that I listened to that "Cold As Fire" (see below) song like a million times. Her chipmunk chops hypnotize me. Must have cheeto….must have cheeto….must have cheeto…

 

 

 

 

 

IT'S A TIE:

 

Tori Spelling was actually booked for Dancing with the Stars until
she sent them her audition tape. – Hermosa 90210

 

and

 

He may think he fooled authorities, but I bet he STILL gets a DUI. – hoozer

 

 

The Toyota Lardass: A brand new, fuel-efficient family vehicle with
room for 5. Runs on twinkies, cheetos, and low self-esteem disguised
as kinky sexual openness. – LSP

 

 

Sybil Danning – Austrian B-Movie Actress

 

Here's one of her many amazing quotes:

 

 

And click here to read her equally amazing bio

 

 

 

 

Team KFED have finally nabbed Britney's former manager, Larry Rudolph. According to Larry, KFed's bitches have been desperately trying to find him to subpoena him in that little custody battle.

 

Larry went into hiding and was said to be on vacation, but he was caught in Los Angeles.

 

A source told UsWeekly, “It stinks. He was trying to stay out of it and keep a low profile but he obviously didn’t keep it low enough. He really didn’t want to get involved with this as his statement had said. He’s obviously not thrilled about it.”

 

So far KFed has served Alli Sims, Shannon Funk, Geico Caveman and Promises Rehab.  

 

They need to sell tickets to that little hearing, because I would certainly pay top dolla. Hell, I'd set up a popcorn and cocktail stand outside. It's going to get good. Imagine the stories.

 

 

 

Heather from Rock of Love is hands down my favorite piece on the show. She's a 32-year-old stripper from Las Vegas who worships Aquanet. Anyway, she gave sex advice on Nerve.com. It was all pretty standard, but then she claimed she was offered $20k for sexy times and turned it down. MY ASS!

 

After living in Vegas I've been offered $20,000 to $30,000 to have sex with people and I turned it down. Maybe it's because it was with married men. I'm not into the whole home-wrecking thing. I don't ever want to feel like I'm a prostitute. I don't know — probably for a million I would. 

 

I would've done it for $10,000. Okay, for $5,000. Okay, I would've done it for $1,000 but I wouldn't have stayed all weekend like that Pretty Woman shit. Ok, I would've done it for $500, but only half the night. Ok, I would've done it for $50 and a meal coupon. Ok fuck it, I would've done it for free. OK SHIT! You got me! I would've paid them $500.

 

They probably offered her $20 and she did it.

 

Image: VH1 Blog