Sienna’s New Man

/ November 13, 2006

Sienna Miller barely broke-up with Jude Law and she already has a new daddy. He’s much hotter and richer and I’m sure his dick is bigger. Anyway, Sienna met up with her new papi at the lighting of the Cartier bow in NYC today. Is she wearing a wig?

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Jordan Whores Her Own Mom Out

/ November 13, 2006

It was a family affair in London today where Jordan aka Katie Price revealed her new lingerie line. The lingerie line is for the everyday woman who wants the silky feel of cheap polyester on her buttocks. Jordan used her mother, Amy, to get this point across. Her mom is totally hot.

I love how Jordan surrounded herself with straight-up HAGS to make herself look hotter. Unfortunately, bitch looks as cheap as the bras she’s hawking.

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Suri in Red

/ November 13, 2006

It’s going to be a TomKat week isn’t it? Ugh, I hate TomKat weeks! So, Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise arrived in Rome by private jet today. They were then taken to the Hotel Hassler Roma near the Spanish Steps. The couple are in Rome to get married this Saturday near some kind of lake. It’s unclear where they will wed, but several venues have already been talked about.

Guests will include John Travolta, Jenna Elfman and E.T.

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The “Who Cares?” News

/ November 13, 2006

The “hanging” of Suddam Hussein is a huge hit in India! – AP

Paul McCartney is trying to buy his daughter for $40 Million. Heather Mills would’ve sold at $10 Million. – Female First

Justin Timberlake will infuse his dorkness into Duran Duran’s new album – Gabsmash

Ms. Dynamite injured herself in one of the dumbest reality show ideas ever, but I’d watch it. – SOW

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Reunited in Rehab

/ November 13, 2006

Keith Urban had a visitor from his granny at the Betty Ford center in California. Oh that’s not his granny you say? Silly me, I didn’t recognize Nicole Kidman with that mop of white hair. In this case a wig is ok. Her hair is falling out and it’s white! Eeek, she’s like a witch. Anyway, this is the moment that the National Enquirer claims Nicole told Keith she’s knocked up.

I doubt it though. Her eggs are totally dried up.

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