If you’ve ever been to an airport, then you know it’s filled with zombies shuffling through the motions to get the hell out as quickly as possible. And when you’re on the go like Marlon Wayans, you need to be sure you don’t have any hiccups in your schedule to avoid delays in getting paid. But this was the case during a United Airlines flight where Marlon says he was targeted by a gate agent who made him miss a gig in Kanas City. Now Marlon feels the wrath of Americans everywhere who have been at the mercy of jaded gate agents. And he can’t believe they would treat one of their first-class passengers in such a horrific manner.
According to TMZ, Moneybags Marlon was prepared to rest in one of United’s cushiest First Class seats when his new archenemy Agent A-Hole stopped him dead in his tracks. In this Duel of the Damned, Marlon’s kryptonite became his luggage, and Agent A-Hole would not allow Marlon to board the plane with his excessive amount (which was probably filled to the brim with diamonds and the tears of the poor). Appalled, Marlon allegedly caused a scene while trying to make his escape to the plane. But that’s when Agent A-Hole’s backup swooped in, putting an end to this ill-fated caper of chasing a check.
We spoke with a witness who tells us Wayans was pissed he had to check a bag during boarding, allegedly slamming his ticket on the counter and then proceeding to board the plane. The witness says the gate agent tried to stop Wayans, but he couldn’t, so he called security.
However, a source close to Marlon says he was first told he had to consolidate his bag and then being told he had to check the bag altogether.
We’re told about 30 minutes later, Wayans was escorted off the plane … and that’s the time when cops got involved. We got video of Marlon leaving the ticketing counter looking pissed.
Marlon, who was set to perform Friday night at Kansas City Improv, says the whole ordeal has forced him to miss his show, writing, “It’s not my fault blame the gate agent and United Airlines can’t believe how they allow their first class customers to be treated this way. I need corporate to reach out DM me. this agent was rude.”
Unfortunately, Agent A-Hole and the valiant warriors of United issued Marlon with a citation, thus signaling a victory for their team! Soon afterward, a late kick to the chest came from Marlon in the form of a very nasty tweet reminding United that they made the wrong white chick bust out in tears that day.
If this is how @UnitedAirlines_ treats their first class customers…. I’d rather fly any competitor coach. Sorry KC I’m gonna miss tonight’s shows due to a United gate agent who probably hated white chicks
TMZ reports Marlon had more time to think about what happened and once again turned his sights to United for a scathing review of their customer service skills. This time, during TMZ Liveon Monday, Marlon provided the real story. He says the drama unfolded when Agent A-Hole began their interaction with a nasty attitude, and things went downhill from there, prompting Marlon’s vow to never fly United again.
Marlon tells the whole thing wasn’t his fault … saying the agent had an attitude with him from the jump, and it only escalated. Wayans said he had 3 bags, and was asked to consolidate them to two, once he did that, Marlon tells us the gate agent then told him he needed to check a bag … which caused him to get upset.
Marlon says United did reach out to him — behind the scenes — but it was only to stand behind their policy … which he says was insult to injury.
Marlon also joked he would create a comedy special called “F You, United,” and he should do the whole thing at an airport. Because the confused mass of zombies bumping into each other need something to laugh at while waiting for their own Agent A-Hole to turn their lives upside down for no reason at all.
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