Night Crumbs
Netflix’s latest horny pile of stupid messiness is Obsession, an erotic thriller series starring Richard Armitage as a surgeon who is seriously hard up for his son’s fiancee. It’s full of ridiculousness and fuck scenes, and Richard, who subtly came out a few years ago, says he warned his partner about all the sex scenes in the show. Well, if he told his partner about ALL the sex scenes, then his man probably hid the nice throw pillows in their home. Because there’s one scene in the show where Richard’s character smells his lover’s scent on a pillow and gets so turned on that he humps it. Richard said that most of that scene was “improvised.” I guess this means that we’ll soon see the return of 80s icons, the Pillow People! Because you just know so many hard-up hos are going to dress up as a sexy pillow, hoping that Richard Armitage will sniff and hump them – Metro UK
While working a tank top and a piping hot brunette Breathless Mahoney ‘do, Timothee Chalamet filmed a commercial with Martin Scorcese, who hopefully greeted him by saying, “Getting with a Koven member, Timmy?! Really?!” – Lainey Gossip
Fuck a Silkwood shower, I’m going to need a battery acid douche to the eyes after reading about Elon Musk and T*ck*r C*rls*n bonding over impregnating women – Jezebel
This beautifully bitchy takedown of the Goop Cruise had me at the article’s first lines: “They told me they couldn’t offer me an interview with her at this time. Fine by me—I didn’t want to talk to her anyway. She talks a lot and doesn’t say much” – Harper’s Bazaar
Drake decided to fan the ab-etching flames some more by bringing out his cum gutters on Instagram. But honestly, I’m more focused on why he has a giant LEGO for a door – HipHopDX
A Serena Williams memoir is (probably) coming soon – Celebitchy
The Los Angeles County Medical Examiner-Coroner has ruled that Aaron Carter died of accidental drowning in his bathtub after huffing compressed air and taking Xanax. But Melanie Martin, the mother of his son, isn’t buying it – E! News
Pic: Netflix