It doesn’t matter what generation you belong to; when you’re young, dumb, and full of fun, you drink your little face off. Gen Z is no different, and lately, their go-to booze is BORGs, which stands for “Blackout Rage Gallons”. The kids drink BORGs from individual plastic gallon jugs (which some say helps prevent drink spiking), filled with half a gallon of water, a fifth gallon of vodka or tequila, a powdered electrolyte, and some kind of caffeine jolt like Red Bull. The water and electrolytes is the reason BORGs are being touted as “hangover-free”. Um, I think the fifth gallon of vodka (equivalent to 16 drinks!) negates that.
Case in point: last week, The New York Post reported that dozens of University of Massachusetts students were hospitalized with alcohol poisoning during their annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration, “Blarney Blowout.” Today is the real St. Patrick’s Day, and it’s a Friday. Oh dear Jesus, it’s the perfect storm! To celebrate, members of Gen Z are dying their BORGs as green as the Chicago River and uploading the results to TikTok. Because if you blackout and don’t post the footage to social media… did it even happen?
According to The Post, 22-year-old college student Rachel Burney helpfully shared a tutorial on her TikTok page. She advised followers to dye their BORGs green using Mio’s “Green Thunder,” a caffeinated flavor enhancer that tastes like green apple and includes Vitamin B (HEALTHY):
Haley Myruski took us on a tour of a St. Paddy’s Day BORG party, where attendees wrote fun puns on their BORG jugs. They included “Borg Leaf Clover,” “LeBorg James,” and “Brown Vs. Borg of Education”:
16 drinks. Damn. My gut reaction is to “tut tut” these kids, but then I remember my 19th birthday, where I drank at least 16 vodka crans, puked on my hair as I slept, and woke up with a pinkish-red dyed streak (it lasted three days). So I’ll keep my tuts to myself. Happy St. Paddy’s!