Madonna And Her Boy Toy Andrew Darnell Are Done, And She’s In The Midst Of A “Crisis Of Confidence”
No, that isn’t Madonna pictured next to a child she adopted under the guise of humanitarianism only to then attempt to suck the youthfulness from his soul; that’s Madonna pictured next to model Andrew Darnell, her most recent boy toy she lured in to attempt to suck the youthfulness from his dick! But nothing gold can stay, and Madonna and Andrew–whose relationship we just learned about back in September–are no longer. And sources close to Madonna say that the breaking of their union came at a bad time, because she’s also having a bit of an existential crisis at the moment.
Page Six says Madonna and Andrew were only a casual thing, so she’s not exactly heartbroken that he’s moved on to someone closer to his age. But, it’s just one more thing on the pile of perceived slights she’s experienced recently, which has left her down in the big fake dumpers.
The 64-year-old and Darnell, 23, have called time on their relationship and he has found romance with someone closer to his own age, a source has told Page Six.
The pair met on a photoshoot soon after Madonna split last year from 28-year-old Ahlamalik Williams, the backup dancer with whom she had a three-year relationship.
“It was only a very casual thing [with Darnell] so she’s not broken-hearted. It’s just that it has come at a bad time,” said the source. “She’s having a bit of a crisis of confidence and this doesn’t help. She had a lot of fun with Andrew but it was never love or anything like that.”
Madge has allegedly been worried about losing her mojo lately because of her biopic being shelved, then having to defend her puffy Jigsaw-inspired Grammys face, and also feeling like no one even cared that she was there to introduce artists who actually HAVE released music in the last 20 years. In everyone’s defense, no one enjoyed their Grammys experience; just ask Bennifer.
The news comes just a few weeks after Madonna reacted furiously to buzz about her puffy-faced look at the Grammy Awards. She claimed the photographs, which sparked speculation about whether she’d had too much plastic surgery, were actually the result of a long-lens camera distorting her face, and said questions about her appearance were fueled by “ageism” and “misogyny.”
But while the mother of six is putting on a brave front, the source said that talk about her look wasn’t the only thing to upset Madonna at the Grammys on February 5.
“She said no one cared that she was in the room, and it used to be so different for her,” said the source. “She’s never been out of favor for so long.”
The singer, who last had a Billboard Top 10 hit in 2005 with “Hung Up,” was also forced to shelve plans for an eagerly awaited biopic earlier this year after a falling-out with Universal Pictures over the script.
She must really be down because she even wore a jacket that said “not in the mood” to lazily vogue the other day:
Madonna hopes her upcoming Celebration tour will give her the other ingredient she needs to remain immortal (besides stolen youth): adoration.
“She’s throwing herself into the tour and is determined that not only will it be brilliant, but it will also thrust her back into the limelight,” said the source. “She’s the queen of pop … and she wants to remind everyone what a star she is.”
It might be time for Madonna to realize that being overtly sexual isn’t enough to cause an uproar anymore; we’ve hit the point in society where people literally fantasize and casually chat about fucking a bloated clump of fungus. She could give everyone the shock of their lives if she came through with an actual reinvention: dissolving those fillers, dating someone who’s reached their 30s, and getting her and that overactive tongue of hers home and in bed by 10!