Night Crumbs

February 23, 2023 / Posted by:

Judging by the dumb shit he says, it seems like NFL player Aaron Rodgers’ lights are never on. But he recently decided to do a four-day “darkness retreat” (aka sit alone in silence in a 300-square foot room with no natural light) because he thought it would help him to make a decision on the future of his football career. Okay, so when I sit by myself in near darkness for days, my mom calls me to say, “Are you depressed or on drugs?” However, when Aaron Rodgers does it, it’s called a “spiritual journey.” Aaron didn’t last four days, though. He checked out after two days. So even Aaron Rodgers can’t stand to be alone in a room with Aaron Rodgers for that long – Pajiba

Light up your Charlene Frazier prayer candles and send healing thoughts to national treasure Jean Smart who recently underwent a “successful heart procedure”SOW

56-year-old R. Kelly was sentenced in Chicago today in his child sex abuse case, and the bad news is that he was only sentenced to 20 years in the clink (as opposed to what he should’ve been sentenced to, 2,000 years in the clink). But the worse news is that 19 of those years will be served concurrently with his 30-year sentence in New York, so he’ll only serve an additional year – CNN

Speaking of smegma-covered predators, a judge in Los Angeles hit 70-year-old abusive tonsil stone Harvey Weinstein with a 16-year prison sentence for rape. Harvey is already serving a 23-year sentence in New York. So my thoughts and prayers are with the prison rats who have to look at Harvey’s face for the rest of his days – Jezebel

Today in “Again, All THIS Over Fucking Justin Bieber?“: Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber’s lukewarm sad beef seems to be alive and well – BuzzFeed

It looks like Paul Rudd is the new Santa Claus and Easter Bunny because he says people ask him to take pictures with their children and dogs – Celebitchy

The look IS Chris Pine’s70s porn pepaw at a CrossFit class” workout ensemble – Lainey Gossip

Pic: INSTARImages

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