Hot Slut Of The Day!
Conair Impressions!
Just as the era of beautiful fuckery known as the 80s was coming to a close, Conair decided to end the decade of decadence with a completely useful beauty tool that turned your hair into a work of opulent art! Or something. Conair Impressions was a styling tool that ALLEGEDLY took your hair to high levels of Rainbow Brite and Jem-like elegance by embedding shapes into your hair. So basically, it was the crimping iron’s attention whore cousin who was always redefining “extra.”
1989 was the year that Conair Impressions made its debut, and I’m sure that it was cleared from shelves by the time 1990 came around. Because I barely heard about it and, sadly, never saw it in action. The way that it worked is that you picked out a shape plate (star, heart, lightning bolt, or boring ole’ straight), put that shit on the styling tool, heat it up, and then pressed it into your hair as your strands screamed, “FOR WHY?!!!” Here’s Conair’s description of their magical hair wand, and they claim the shapes were apparent and didn’t look like some weird hair disease.
IMPRESSIONS lets you create dozens of great looks with the flick of a styling plate. You get 4 interchangeable Impressions: a star, a heart, a lightning bolt, and a straightening plate, all in a professional styling handle. Easy to use. Super results, deep, sharp shapes that hold their shape. And you can mix and match them. Go for it. And start making great Impressions today!
Now, I looked all around the internet and couldn’t find any clear pictures of what hair really looked like when it was touched by Conair Impressions. But I found a recent tweet from someone who had a Conair Impressions back in the day, and the shapes were not that sharp. Conair should change its name to Conartist for this!
I had one! Unless you hair sprayed it into a chunk those impressions were not apparent.
— Doom Generation Podcast (@DoomGenPod) January 15, 2023
Conair Impressions was also anti-curls since that mess was only for straight hair. But they did get their tagline “NO ONE WILL FORGET” right. Because I’m sure that somewhere right now, someone is saying, “Remember in the 80s when Becky looked a fool with those janky stars in her hair?”
Pic: Vintage.es