If you woke up feeling fresh, renewed, and youthful this Friday morning, I’m sorry to issue this reminder that we’re all pretty much elderly and hurtling toward rapid decay. 2009 was a much simpler time. We were introduced to the subculture of strange hair and tackiness when Jersey Shore premiered, Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swift’s MTV VMA award acceptance speech, and we looked on in horror as Nadya Suleman emerged as Octomom when she gave birth to octuplets through shady fertility means. But as time moved forward, our guidette bumps deflated, Kanye became immeasurably more of an asshole, and Nadya recently posted on Instagram that her octuplets just turned 14 and look like they’re thriving, despite some people expecting the worst (see: allegations of welfare fraud and past CPS visits).
E! News says that Natalie (her new preferred name) posted about the octuplets’ 14th birthday celebration on Instagram. And not only has she not permanently misplaced any of the octuplets or her six other kids (that’s 14!!), but they all also decided to keep their eyeballs despite one of them having seen her solo porn video. The octuplets blew out their candles and enjoyed a “vegan doughnut feast.”
The 47-year-old, who was famously dubbed “Octomom” after giving birth to octuplets, treated her eight youngest kids to a vegan doughnut feast ahead of their 14th birthday. As seen in a video published by TMZ, Noah, Maliyah, Isaiah, Nariyah, Jonah, Makai, Josiah and Jeremiah were serenaded by the family before digging into the sugary confections.
“Make a wish,” Suleman, who now prefers to be called Natalie, gushed as her kids blew out the candles on their plant-based treats. “Yay!”
Suleman’s eight younger kids were conceived through in vitro fertilization after a California specialist implanted 12 embryos. The octuplets were born through C-section on Jan. 26, 2009. At the time, they weighed between 1 lbs., 8 oz. and 3 lbs., 4 oz.
In addition to her octuplets, Suleman is also mom to six older children: Elijah, 21, Amerah, 20, Joshua, 29, Aidan, 17, and twins Calyssa and Caleb, 13.
Here’s the video:
And here’s the birthday post:
The Octomom media circus may be in the rearview mirror as time races forward, but we’ll always have Sexy Party to remind us of the absurdity we’ve left behind us.