Big news for plastic women and the men who love them! People reports that 48-year-old Larsa Pippen, aka the villain on Real Housewives of Miami/ex-Kardashian bestie/OnlyFans feet-pic-peddler, has gone Instagram official with her boyfriend, 32-year-old Marcus Jordan. Huh, never heard of him. Why would Larsa, a fame-hungry succubus who married basketball legend Scottie Pippen, allegedly hooked up with Tristan Thompson, and had an affair with married NBA player Malik Beasley be interested in a nobody? Maybe she’s growing. Maybe she’s really in love. Maybe, this time, her relationship isn’t about money or celebrity or status; it’s about real — HOLD UP. Marcus is Michael Jordan’s son? OK, that makes sense.
Larsa and Marcus (#Larcus) have allegedly been dating each other for several months, although Larsa claimed the two were “just friends.” Earlier this month, a source confirmed the relationship to People, but still, no official confirmation from Larsa. Just glimpses of Marcus on her Instagram Stories. But, yesterday, Larsa made things official by dragging Marcus over to the main grid (HUGE), and posting a picture of them posing arm-in-arm at the Trophy Room, an Orlando boutique run by the Jordan family:
Larsa’s caption, “Checks over stripes,” refers to the Nike checkmark versus the Adidas stripes. Clearly, Larsa has aligned herself with the Michael Jordan brand, a huge “fuck you” to her ex, Scottie Pippen. The Chicago Bulls teammates had a falling out over 2020’s ESPN docuseries, The Last Dance.
Now, Larsa claims she and Marcus first met a few years ago. She adamantly denies meeting him when he was a kid. But I call bullshit! Larsa began dating Scottie in 1995 and married him in 1997. You’re telling me there were no Chicago Bulls family Christmas parties? No “Take Your Wives & Kids To Work” days? Not even a casual Sunday barbecue? LIES!!! Also, what does Scottie think about Larsa dating his former co-worker’s kid? During a recent appearance on Watch What Happens Live!, Larsa told Andy Cohen she didn’t know what her ex thought of her and Marcus’ “friendship”:
A surprised Cohen followed up: “You don’t know? He’s never mentioned it to you, and you’ve never mentioned it to him?”
“No,” Larsa replied. The WWHL host continued to press. “The kids have never said, ‘This is bugging daddy?'”, he asked about the four kids Larsa shares with Scottie: Scotty Jr., 22, Preston, 20, Justin, 17, and Sophia, 13.
“No,” Larsa said, explaining that the families were never close and adding that she and Marcus were “friends.”
Now, because her transformation never ceases to amaze me, let’s end this post with an old picture of Larsa from 2009 before she jumped ass-first into the Uncanny Valley. And don’t worry about being mean; as someone who has seen every episode of Real Housewives of Miami, I can promise you that Larsa is a genuinely terrible person and denies most of her surgery, including her wildly obvious BBL…
She makes Khloe Kardashian’s multiple face transplants look positively natural.
Pics: Instagram & Seth Browarnik/startraksphoto.com