Welp. I think we know how Alec Baldwin got to eight kids and no doubt counting. Page Six reports that earlier today, Alec #ignitedinstragram with a request for his fans to follow his wife, Hilaria Baldwin, on Instagram, as a personal favor to him, on the occasion of Hilaria’s birthday so that she may reach the pinnacle of her career as an esposa/madre/yogui/mujer de influencia y cultural fluidity (sorry, that last one broke Google translate) by reaching the threshold of 1 million followers. At the time of this writing, Hilaria has 996K followers, and Alec says that reaching that mark would really make her day. Kinda makes you wonder what Hilaria’s magic number for babies is and if she’ll have enough time to reach it before there’s a global shortage of Baldwin spunk.
Or, possibly, she keeps the target moving, and Alec is just too damn tired to remember when she said they would stop at three. And then at four. And again at five. Same again for six. On and on like that and before you know it, he and Hilaria will have 996K children and not know a single one of them by name. In a nearly two-minute video, unironically captioned “the final push,” Alec, looking every day of his 64 years on this planet, let us know that he has absolutely no clue what to get his wife for her birthday that doesn’t involve creating a new birthday for him to try to remember. And he already got her a copy of 99 Gazpacho Recipes and a Pepino Ain’t One last year! Page Six reports:
Alec Baldwin was unabashedly hawking his wife Hilaria’s Instagram account and begged fans to throw her a follow request in celebration of her 39th birthday.
“Hey everybody. It’s January 5th, the day before my wife’s birthday. It is my wife Hilaria’s birthday tomorrow January 6th. We don’t attach the same significance to January 6th as other people do,” Alec said in a video shared to his Instagram on Thursday, referring to the Jan. 6 attack on Capitol Hill. “We just say it’s Hilaria’s birthday.”
The “30 Rock” star, 64, then went on to ask his fans for a “small favor.”
“My wife is just, it seems like she’s just centimeters shy of 1 million followers on Instagram,” he said. “And I would like to ask you, as a birthday gift, or even just [a] gesture to my wife, would you follow her on Instagram?”
Alec expressed how much he loves his wife and how much the extra follows would mean to her on her big day.
The actor then went on to beg once more for Instagram users to follow the yogi so she could reach 1 million followers as a birthday gift.
“I would like as many of you as possible. I would like a really great, great, surge of you to follow my wife on Instagram to say ‘Happy Birthday’ to her,” he said, before pleading, “Would you do that for me? Would you follow my wife on Instagram? Please? Thanks.”
Well, not only has Alec’s plan not panned out (she’s holding steady at 400,000K short of
his her ? their? goal), Alec’s pleas didn’t fall on deaf ears. They fell on working ears who turned around and told their brain to tell their typing fingers to call bullshit.
While several fans commented on his post saying that they were happy to throw Hilaria a follow, others poked fun at Alec for making the request.
“I would have respected a request to assist a charity to honour her birthday rather than concern ourselves about his wife’s insta followers tally! Aren’t there more pressing things in the world you could address on both your l,” a second person wrote.
“This is her gift? No judgment but really?…I agree with others…how about donations…ridiculous,” another agreed.
In Alec’s defense, he is aware that charities exist because he likened his request to the Jerry Lewis Telethon. He then twisted his poor, put-upon brain trying to explain to the younger folks who Jerry Lewis was, and then what a telethon was, before realizing he’s not asking for charity; he’s asking so he stops waking up to find his wife crouched over his crotch holding a mason jar trying to milk his penis and balls into giving her just one more drop. Now, if Hilaria started posting truthful content like that on her Insta, I’d follow her in a heartbeat! But only as a gift to myself. Here’s Alec’s video. Tag yourself! I’m the sinister ass row of white chairs they presumably line the babies up on during screen time (sorry, I don’t currently follow that particular daycare account).
Tote board resets at midnight, so get those calls in before Hilaira comes home with twins!
Pic: Janet Mayer/startraksphoto.com/Cover Images