Archives: January 2023

Night Crumbs

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

Today, DC Studios’ co-heads, James Gunn and Peter Safran, laid down their (confusing) plans for the DC universe, including a Wonder Woman-based prequel series, a Superman reboot, a new Supergirl movie, a Booster Gold show, and a sequel for The Batman. And as for The Flash movie, starring allegedly abusive world terrorizer Ezra Miller, James called it “one of the best superhero movies I’ve ever seen,” and it seems like DC plans to stick with Ezra as long as Ezra stays out of trouble. So translation: “My job is riding on The Flash, and so we’re going to keep a shock collar, a muzzle, and a ball and chain on that bitch Ezra until after that shit finally comes out.”  – Pajiba

Angelina Jolie’s presence at the Guerlain boutique in Paris brought out a massive crowd of St. Angie disciples who swarmed the store. Okay, but I’m not that impressed with their devotion to her since none of them wore a Le Team Jolie t-shirt – Lainey Gossip

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Julia Fox Says She Chooses To Live In A Small Apartment So Her Son Doesn’t Grow Up To Be A Prick

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

Last week, Julia Fox gave us a TikTok tour of her surprisingly modest New York apartment, complete with clutter, a bed in the living room, and a wee mouse problem. Relatable (except switch out Ms. Fox’s single mouse for my 12,000 potato bugs). She shares her Upper East Side home with her 2-year-old son, Valentino. Page Six reports that yesterday, 32-year-old Julia made another TikTok in response to this comment on her original video: “Isn’t she worth like 30 million dollars?” Translation: why doesn’t Julia live in a mansion and/or penthouse like other famous types? Julia says it’s because she doesn’t want her son to grow up to be “a fuckin’ prick.”

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Alec Baldwin Was Formally Charged With Manslaughter Today, And Hilaria Baldwin Said It’s Been An Emotional Time For Their Family

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

Alec Baldwin’s been spending his time on the outside world on Instagram, posting a pic of one of his thousand children alongside an unsettlingly suggestive caption and begging people to help his fugazi señora, Hilaria Thomas Baldwin (seen above dreaming up ways to smuggle Baldwinito Batter in a condom out of the prison visitation room) reach a million followers. But it’s a real possibility that he may soon have to live in captivity. Earlier this month, we heard that he’d be charged for his role in the accidental shooting death of Halyna Hutchins on the Santa Fe, NM set of Rust, and today he was formally charged with manslaughter. Of course, the always-attention-ready Hillary Tomás took the opportunity to speak about it. This time, she took to her podcast, Witches Anonymous, to discuss the emotional toll all of this has had on their family rather than employing her last PR strategy of stepping out in a sweatshirt with a laughable quality she doesn’t possess splayed across her always-nursing chichis while yelling at the paps in Spanglish.

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Who Is Hot Slut Of 2022? Vote In Round Two!

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

The first round in the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals is over and has ended with The Calm Librarian sliding into the finals thanks to getting 37% of your votes. And in round two of the HSOTY showdown is The Calm Librarian’s fellow anti-maskhole warrior queen, only, this one’s the direct opposite of fucking calm. Patti LuPone and calm go together like Patti LuPone and a trick who refused to cover up their spewing germ hole in a Broadway theater. And joining Patti LuPone’s verbal slapdown on an anti-masker is a certified beauty queen, a lounging master of chaos, and a true pussy hero! Here are your choices for round two:

MayPatti LuPone’s Mask Rant, the sermon that La LuPone launched into the ear holes of audience members at an after-show Q&A for Company on Broadway when they refused to wear their masks correctly. They even dared to tell La LuPone that they paid her bills! Audacity was re-defined several times that night. That moment helped La LuPone make the decision to exit Broadway for now. So it may be one of La LuPone’s last magnificent Broadway performances in a while. So if she doesn’t win HSOTY, she should at least win a Tony Lifetime Achievement Award for checking a trick.

JuneMr. Happy Face, the 17-year-old hairless Chinese crested and Chihuahua mix who not only does an A+++ impersonation of me after watching one episode of MILF Manor but is also the current reigning World’s Ugliest Dog.

JulyFreya, the instantly iconic walrus who was the party time IT girl of Norway last summer. Because when she wasn’t lounging on boats, she was sinking them and causing a commotion. Sadly, Freya was given the long kiss goodnight after the evil powers-that-be declared that she was a threat to human safety (more like the other way around) and now she’s lounging on boats and causing a commotion in heaven.

AugustBilly, the cat who thought, “okay, so I guess I’ll give catmanity some good PR with the humans,” when he woke up his human who was having a heart attack in her sleep and saved her.

Voting is below. The winner of this round will be named when we vote in round three on Friday, February 3rd!

Pics: INSTARImages, Instagram, YouTube, YouTube

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Open Post: Hosted By Bruno The Shelter Cat Who Was Accused Of Being “Too Affectionate”

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

Two-year old orange boy Bruno thought he’d found his people when he was adopted from the Mountville Animal Shelter in New Jersey last week. However, Bruno was soon to learn that the conditions at his new home were anything but ideal. According to People, Bruno was adopted by a mother and her young daughter, only to be returned less than a week later. You see, Bruno is one of those cats. You know the type; one of those Heresme Cats that are always in your face like “here’s me!” A bit of a diva? Perhaps, perhaps — but who wants to live in a world where charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talons get you a one-way ticket back to the animal shelter? Certainly not Bruno!

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HBO’s “The Last Of Us” Gave Linda Ronstadt’s “Long Long Time” The Kate Bush Bump

January 31, 2023 / Posted by:

I did not grow up in a Linda Ronstadt home. When it came to female singers of the sixties and seventies, my family’s loyalties lay with Carole King, Joni Mitchell, Cass Elliot, and Karen Carpenter. Up until 40 hours ago, the only Linda Ronstadt song on my iTunes was her 1974 cover of “You’re No Good”. But that was 40 hours ago, aka “The Before Times.” “Before what?” some of you might be asking. Before Sunday night’s episode of The Last Of Us. In one emotional scene, Nick Offerman’s Bill plays Linda’s song “Long Long Time” on the piano for Murray Bartlett’s Frank. Linda’s version (released in 1970) is played at the end of the episode. Variety reports that, on Sunday night, “Long Long Time” was up 4,900% in Spotify streams. That’s right, Linda got the Kate Bush “Stranger Things” bump! SPOILERS GALORE for The Last Of Us ahead… Continue reading

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