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October 26, 2022 / Posted by:

Talkback Dear Diary!

When the recording toy Talkboy (and later HSOTD Talkgirl) became a hit for Hasbro in the newborn days of the 90s, other toy companies copied them, including Tiger Electronics. Tiger came up with their own recording and playback toy, Talkback Dear Diary. But Talkback Dear Diary wasn’t your basic bitch tape recorder that only recorded your voice and played it back, it did it all!!!

Talkback Dear Diary made its debut in 1994 and was marketed toward girls as an electronic diary for them to spill their inner thoughts and emotions to. If you really wanted your secrets aired, you could play them back on the Talkback Dear Diary. But not anyone could access your private feelings. It was protected with a password, and if someone other than you tried to get in it, it let out an alarm in the form of a message pre-recorded by its owner. Your alarm could scream, “This diary is covered in bird flu, and now you’ve got it” (it was the 90s) or “Hands off, creep,” like in the commercial below. On top of being an extremely technologically advanced audio diary, it also had a calendar for you to keep track of your important appointments, a phonebook, a calculator, and more. Here’s a very 90s commercial for the very 90s Talkback Dear Diary. Come for the high-tech magic of Talkback Dear Diary, stay for the Oscar-worthy acting from these junior Meryl Streeps:

Talkback Dear Diary didn’t last very long, and I don’t think it made it out of the 90s. So it’s time for a comeback. But it should be rebooted to really live up to the “Talkback” in its name. The new Talkback Dear Diary should feature the voices of legendary shit-talkers of our time. Like when you ask Dear Diary if they like your singing, the voice of Aretha Franklin should pop up with, “Great gowns, beautiful gowns.” And if you confessed to your Dear Diary about the bitchy mean girl bullying you at school, the voice of Mariah Carey should pop up with, “I don’t know her.” Talkback Dear Diary 2.0 would simultaneously end Siri and Alexa!

Pic: Kaleidoscope Kid

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