Hot sauce aficionado Philip White, a man with too much time on his hands, is suing the makers of Texas Pete hot sauce after making a life-changing discovery. While dining on a dish so bland it required a kick in the ass from Texas Pete, Philip wanted a little light reading with his meal and flipped the bottle over to discover his beloved condiment is guilty of false advertisement because Texas Pete ain’t from Texas. The hot sauce is actually made in North Carolina, and now Philip is burning mad at this high level of deception and disrespect!!!
According to USA Today, Philip’s sophisticated palette was tainted forever after discovering the real home for Texas Pete is in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. This angered him so much that he took matters into his own hands by filing a class action lawsuit to bring awareness to the plight of those who take their love for hot sauce just a little bit further than people who aren’t bored and insane.
The lawsuit said White wouldn’t have bought the Louisiana-style hot sauce, or would not have paid as much for it, if he knew its origin.
The complaint alleges the makers knowingly “capitalized on consumers’ desire to partake in the culture and authentic cuisine of one of the most prideful states in America.”
Hey, Philip here’s an idea that won’t cost you thousands in court costs: don’t buy Texas Pete. Is this really where we are during the 2022 season of America? Because if so we need to cancel the rest of the series and come back with a reboot. And it’s not like this was a conspiracy for Texas Pete to fool their consumers. They explain the origin of its name on their website for everyone to see.
On Texas Pete’s website, parent company T.W. Garner Food Co. explains where and why the hot sauce is made in North Carolina. After consulting a marketing adviser, the company’s founder, Sam Garner, landed on Texas Pete because of the state’s “reputation for spicy cuisine” and as a nod to his son’s nickname.
I think the real lawsuit here should be Philip’s banishment from every supermarket in the country. Because what will he do once he discovers Lucky Charms aren’t made by leprechauns? Or grape tomatoes aren’t made from real grapes? He may never recover from that trauma.