As if we haven’t suffered enough, Jared Leto, the man who puts the suffer and twat in insufferable twat, is going to be tormenting our eyes and ears by completing his transformation into Karl Lagerfeld right before our very eyes. Deadline reports that Jared is producing, and will of course star in, a biopic about Jameela Jamil’s least favorite dead fashion icon (to date.) This is obviously the role of a lifetime for Jared as it has everything he likes in a character — European accent of indeterminate origin, a live prop, clown suits, a fun wig, contempt for women and flat, dead eyes concealed behind silly novelty sunglasses! It’s perfect really. I just hope too many innocent pussies aren’t rubbed raw from Jared’s “immersive” stroking methods. PETA needs to stay on his ass for the duration.
Here’s Jared announcement on Instagram. Please note the teeth but do not write to me about it later with your nightmares. You’re about to do this to yourself.
Karl’s corpse is probably already rolling around in his coffin like a 7-Eleven hotdog knowing that he will be honored at next year’s Met Gala even though he died in 2019 before Kim Kardashian showed the world how she honors the dead. So given his legendary, shall we call it – persnicketiness in life, I can’t imagine he’d be thrilled to let Jared run roughshod all over his legacy, but he’s dead and can’t do a thing about it. That’s why Jared has partnered with “the late fashion icon’s trusted confidants,” at his label, House of Karl Lagerfeld. Deadline reports:
Jared Leto is set to star in a film about the acclaimed fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld with Leto co-producing with Lagerfeld’s House of Karl Lagerfeld. Leto will produce alongside his partner, Emma Ludbrook, through their production company Paradox.
“Karl has always been an inspiration to me,” says Leto. “He was a true polymath, an artist, an innovator, a leader and, most importantly, a kind man. When we came together with the Karl Lagerfeld team, we immediately shared a creative vision of doing a respectful ode to Karl while pushing the artistic boundaries of what a biopic can be. I’m so grateful to Karo, Pier and Seb for allowing us to go on this journey together.”
You know, Dlisted’s own Michael K was THIS close to dubbing him Kind Karl, but a demon jumped up his ass as he was typing it and changed it to Kunty Karl. Why else do you think Michael makes so many typos that stay? Deadline adds:
The exact storyline remains confidential, though the film will cover the key relationships in Lagerfeld’s life, told through an unpredictable lens, much like the man himself. Producers are currently in conversation with filmmakers.
“Over the years, we have been approached by several Hollywood producers who suggested to partner on a movie about Karl’s iconic life,” says Righi, CEO of KARL LAGERFELD. “It has been only since we met Jared and Emma that we felt truly confident about the story being told in the artistic way Karl would have loved to see. Throughout our conversations, we have created an equally trustful and inspiring creative relationship that will allow us to collaborate very fluidly on this beautiful project.”
I always knew Jared would find a way to play an over-the-top, cat-stroking, giant lapel-having cartoon villain on screen, but it never occurred to me that he’d be playing a real-life character other than himself. I wonder if 20 years from now, Ezra Miller will be starring in Insufferable Twat: The Jared Leto Story.
Pic: Julien Reynaud/ABACA/INSTARimage/Cover Images