Some Conservatives Are Pissed About Lizzo Twerking While Playing James Madison’s Crystal Flute From The 1800s

September 29, 2022 / Posted by:

Last week, Librarian of Congress Carla Hayden took to Twitter to invite Lizzo to pop by the Library of Congress while she was in Washington D.C. for her tour. BOOOORRRRRIIIIIN- oh wait, the library has a historical flute collection? Which features a crystal flute owned by President James Madison in 1813? Cool! Especially for a famous flute enthusiast like Lizzo. So, Lizzo took Carla up on her offer, and this past Tuesday, she got to play the prized crystal flute at the library. Later that day, she surprised fans at her concert with a special guest: the flute! Both times Lizzo played the (magic?) crystal flute, she did some very light twerking, because why not? Afterward, everyone was very happy and chill, cuz history is neato, and the crystal flute is pretty. Not! Some people (*cough* conservatives) were très scandalized. And WAP-hater Ben Shapiro, who’s probably never even heard of the crystal flute before this week, was the head of this angry mob.

For context, here’s Lizzo RSVPing to Carla Hayden’s Twitter Invite:

And footage of her playing at the concert and the Library of Congress:

Immediately, people started complaining that Lizzo’s twerking was blasphemous to the flute and American history (which is, as we all know, sacred and perfect). Yesterday the Library of Congress tweeted out a defense, explaining that this was not a Kim Kardashian wearing Marilyn Monroe’s dress to the Met Gala situation:

For those concerned about the flute: Music Division curators made sure it could be played without damage. This sort of thing is not all that unusual, in fact. Some of the Library’s priceless instruments were donated with the stipulation that they remain functional & be played.

This morning, Ben Shapiro sensed that everybody wanted him to weigh in on this non-controversy, and tweeted that Lizzo twerking while playing the crystal flute was bad because… I’m not sure:

Here’s a taste of some other scandalized pearl-clutchers:

OK! Conversely, many Twitterers realized that this “outrage” was… um… totally fucking stupid and racist. A history teacher also provided some historical context as to why this was quite bad-ass:

When asked to comment, the ghost of James Madison replied, “I’m in hell for owning slaves; what’s a Lizzo?”

Pics: Instagram

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