Kanye West Apologized To Kim Kardashian And Shared His Vision For The Future On “Good Morning America”
Despite what we see all around us, we are still technically “pre-apocalypse,” so that disheveled man who looks like he just crawled out from under the scorched remains of the 101 Freeway overpass with a twisted 3-wheeled shopping cart filled with scavenged goods you might have seen on Good Morning America is actually fine. Better than fine in fact, it’s Kanye West as you’ve never seen him before. Kanye sat down with GMA’s Linsey Davis for an exclusive interview in which he shares his vision for the future he is creating for all of us. Don’t worry! He’s got this. Kanye’s plan is actually really good if you’ll just hear him out. All he needs is a minute of your time and your children’s souls. Oh, and can he hold $20? Just for a sec?
Part of the GMA interview aired this morning and the rest will air later this evening on Hulu. This morning, Kanye touched on a number of issues that are plaguing us as a species at the moment, and offered quite a few innovative and elegant solutions to those problems. For example, Kanye’s cracked the secret to balancing social media’s potential as both a societal good and a societal ill. And by “society” I of course mean “Yeiety,” a concept I’m sure we’ll all be 100% on board with after seeing part two of this interview later tonight. According to The Hollywood Reporter:
In a teaser clip shared to Instagram on Wednesday, Davis asks the multi-hyphenate if social media is more harmful or beneficial to him. “That’s one of my favorite questions of this interview,” Ye responds. “We could use a car to rush somebody to the hospital, or we could use a car and accidentally hit somebody while we’re rushing somebody to the hospital. It all in how we use it.”
You see, in this analogy, the “car” is Twitter, the “hospital” is Yeiety and “somebody” is… hold on, I’m thinking… still thinking, nobody said internalizing the Word of Ye was gonna be easy, look how long it took for people to agree on an interpretation of the Bible… OK… I think I got it. “Somebody” is the Christian FamilYe Unit. You see, Ye is not infallible. In his benevolent wisdom, he now understands that when he harassed his ex-wife Kim Kardashian and her boyfriend at the time Pete Davidson on social media, or when he had his Instagram account suspended for using racial slurs against Trevor Noah, those were simply unavoidable speed bumps on the road to salvation. And people said he was crazy! But he’s not. He’s Yeezy. Get it? No? Well you better catch up. We are all about to live in a Yeiety.
Here’s Ye actually APOLOGIZING to Kim for causing her stress as the “co-creator” of one of his three greatest “products,”— the other two being his collection for GAP and his collection for Adidas. And not only does he APOLOGIZE, he also admits he was once WRONG!
— Good Morning America (@GMA) September 22, 2022
So while Ye is willing to throw the Adidas and Gap babies out with the bathwater, he’s got a different type of baptism in mind for his own children. The apology to Kim might just be the key to getting his own children enrolled in his greatest creation yet— The unaccredited pre-K through 12th grade Christian school with an alleged iron-clad NDA created by a man who famously refuses to read a damn book, The Donda Academy. via GMA:
The private school, which Ye said was originally named the Yeezy Christian Academy, is located in Simi Valley, California. According to the school’s website, the academy’s mission is to help students “learn fundamentals, grow in their faith, and experience two enrichment classes.”
Ye said the school gives “kids practical tools that they need in a world post the iPhone being created.” He said the school is in its third year and has an enrollment of 82 students.
“So many schools are made to set kids up for industries that don’t even matter anymore,” he said, pointing out that the focus areas of the school is “on practical skills” such as engineering, computer programming and farming. He added that the school has tutors who focus on specific areas and could “actually turn your kids into, like, geniuses.”
“And if your kids are geniuses … they’re three grade levels ahead,” he added.
Let’s do the math, which incidentally is one of those archaic subjects you won’t find in the DA curriculum. If you send your child to Ye’s school from Kindergarten through 12th grade, they will become a genius and graduate at a 14th grade level. Now, they probably won’t be able to get into a traditional college, but that never stopped the co-creator of Ye’s biological progeny from becoming a lawyer. So really, what do you have to lose except your very soul and the souls of your children? Besides, graduates of the many DA campuses Ye plans to open across the country, and of the planned future Donda University, might one day have access to Leader of the Ye World. Ye “absolutely” plans to run for President again. Yes, of The Yenited States of America! #Yepocalypse 2024
Pic: ABC via Twitter