Hot Slut Of The Day!
Franzia’s Boxed Wine Dog Costume!
The powers-that-be at Franzia must have taken a look at Dolly Parton’s line of doggy costumes and thought, “We can do that too!” Because they randomly joined forces with pooch subscription service BARK to bring us a doggy boxed wine costume. It’s perfect for appreciators of the finer things in life (boxed wine), Halloween, and dogs! Somewhere in heaven, the Patron Saint of Boxed Wine and dog lover, Kathy Griffin’s mom Maggie, is cursing Franzia for not making this pooch costume when she was still alive!
The Franzia x BARK collaboration doesn’t only include a Bark Red Blend costume, it also includes a “Cabernet Slobbernon” squeaky dog toy. Franzia’s dog costume may seem really random but it’s not totally random. They have sold Franzia Halloween costumes for humans before (and don’t ask me where the spigot is supposed to be). In a statement, Franzia’s brand manager explained their dog costume like this, via People:
“Franzia is all about bonding with friends — whom we affectionately call ‘Franz’ — over a box of wine,” Katie Hoefs, the brand manager of The Wine Group, said in a statement. “Our Halloween costumes have been a fan-favorite for years, so it only made sense to extend the fun to our favorite furry Franz with a four-legged costume.”
Never mind that dogs can’t drink wine, a doggy Franzia costume will run you $20. No, I’m not going to get a Franzia costume for my dog for Pupoween. First of all, if I wanted to dress her up like a box of Franzia, I’d just throw an actual Franzia box on her. Second of all, she’s watched me drink from, break down, and throw away dozens of boxes of wine (and that was just this week alone). So I don’t need to put her through the trauma of dressing her up like one.
Pic: BARK