64-year-old Madonna stays active and ready at all times. And by that, I do mean sex, because if you were unaware, Madge is having a lovely time pleasing her lady bits these days. But now it has come to attention that although she recently snatched away her lollipop lovin’ from her last Gen Z hot piece, 28-year-old Ahlamalik Williams, he may have already been replaced with 23-year-old actor/model/skateboarder Andrew Darnell. And if that’s the case then we better all be prepared to see more of him, but hopefully not in the ways that Madge has seen more of him.
So who is this brand new whippersnapper Madge is draining the essence from in her quest for eternal life? The Daily Mail reports Andrew has many different gigs, and one of them is being a model signed with IMG. Both Madge and Andrew participated in her now infamous Paper magazine photoshoot, where Madge began licking all over him like a serpent bathing its prey with its tongue before swallowing it whole. Clearly, this was her subtle way of asking Andrew on a date.
— Page Six (@PageSix) August 19, 2022
Before you write Madonna’s latest income tax dependent off as just another pretty face, Andrew is all about giving back to anyone that wants to hear his story. And one goal he has is going back to school to give his own Ted Talk about always following your dreams.
‘I want to go back to my school, I just want to tell the kids to follow your dreams and I want to, like, if I have the power to show them they have other outlets than being like stressed and shit, like, do what makes you happy
‘If you put time and energy into that, it will pay off. That’s why it’s not a lot of people out there doing their own thing because there’s a lot of people out there that didn’t do what they wanted to do.
He’s basically going to tell them “Go find you a rich person, fuck them into oblivion, and get that money honey!” because that’s the only explanation I can find for these shenanigans. Madonna, please return this boy to his playpen immediately. I’m sure the nursery starts to get worried when one of their infants goes missing for too long.