Operation London Bridge Was Replaced By Operation Unicorn Upon THE QUEEN’s Death In Scotland

I saw Jason Lee was trending on Twitter and said to myself, oh no, here we go again. But this time the news that THE QUEEN has died came right from the horse’s mouth as per Operation London Bridge, the code name for the official protocol to be undertaken upon Queen Elizabeth II’s death. Only, according to People, I should probably say the news came straight from the unicorn’s mouth because since she died in Scotland at her Balmoral Estate, the correct code name for what is going down right now is Operation Unicorn, and I think that’s neat. We know Liz loved dogs and horses more than most people so it’s a little magical that she passed at Balmoral surrounded by green hills and critters of all kinds. And yes, maybe even unicorns. Balmoral could be teeming with so-called “mythical” creatures for all we know. What else have these monarchs been hiding from us plebes for all these centuries?!?

The current protocols for the Royal Family Death Watch were set up in the 1960s before Jason Lee was even born let alone had access to a Twitter account, so the news of THE QUEEN’s death probably spread a little more efficiently if not more reverently than they planned. What’s supposed to happen is THE QUEEN takes her last breath then her private secretary runs to tell the Prime Minister that “London Bridge has fallen” and hope that he, or in this case she, knows he’s not trying to entice her into a game of patty cake (or Paddington Pudding as they call it across the pond). From there, it’s off to the races, which I think is neat. Liz loved races! According to Entertainment Weekly:

A series of royal protocols for the queen’s death have long been in place. Had she died in London, the plan known as “Operation London Bridge” would have taken effect; her death in Scotland enacted a plan known as “Operation Unicorn” (so named for the country’s official animal).

The queen’s body is expected to be moved from Balmoral to Holyroodhouse Palace in Edinburgh, where members of the public can pay their respects. It will then be carried up the Royal Mile to St. Giles for a funeral service before being transported by the Royal Train back to London for the burial service.

In the hours following the queen’s death, Prime Minister Liz Truss, the cabinet secretary (Britain’s highest-ranking civil servant) and a number of the most senior ministers and officials were informed of the death, with the PM being informed by the queen’s private secretary. The prime minister will be the first member of the government to make a statement.

Meanwhile, Prince Charles shall heretofore be known as His Majesty King Charles III, or Chuckie Trips as I’ll be calling him from now on.