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September 7, 2022 / Posted by:

Kellogg’s Graham Crackos!

Golden Grahams has been the reigning ruler of the graham cracker cereal game for decades, but it hasn’t been the only graham cracker cereal on the market. Golden Grahams, which is produced by General Mills in the U.S., came out in 1975, and a few years later, Kellogg’s tossed a challenger into the ring. Enter: Graham Crackos!

Graham Crackos may sound like the nickname of a drug dealer on It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but Graham Crackos was the name that Kellogg’s decided to go with for their graham crackers cereal. Graham Crackos were made to not get soggy in milk and were shaped like brass knuckles. Probably as a threat to Golden Grahams that they’re about to get their asses whooped by Graham Crackos. Below is a Graham Crackos commercial from 1980, a truly different time because George the Milkman just sashays into a house without knocking and pours some Graham Crackos into the dad’s breakfast bowl without asking. George the Milkman would’ve been tasered if he tried that shit today!  But George the Milkman is extremely helpful and explains Graham Cracko’s shape, saying that “the Os let the milk flow through” (sounds sexy) for a graham cracker and leche taste with every bite.

Graham Crackos tried but it lost the graham cracker cereal war (a war I just made up) in the 1980s and was discontinued. So since then, I’m sure that many Graham Crackhos still miss their beloved cereal and begrudgingly look at a bowl of Golden Grahams while saying, “I wish you had holes,” as the people around them uncomfortably back out of the room.

Pic: Bonanza

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