Ben Affleck And Jennifer Lopez Keep It Moving On Their Second Honeymoon In Italy

August 24, 2022 / Posted by:

Since Ben and Jennifer Lynn Affleck’s perfectly pristine, nearly-flawless fairytale wedding this past weekend, we’ve only seen pictures from Vogue of her three Ralph Lauren gowns. So as the entirety of humanity breathlessly awaits the release of the official photos of both Ben and Jennifer, the couple of flesh-covered skeletons teeming with bacteria at the center of this Love Story to End All Love Stories should, by dictate of biology and common sense, be taking a break from all the publicity to hydrate, sleep, satisfy their sexual urges and maybe have a little easily digestible food. Nothing too spicy or stimulating, they’ve been burning the candle at both ends for far too long. Ben and Jen are, after all, only human despite what you may have heard …*sotto voce* On the JLo. But alas, duty awaits and nothing short of a coordinated couple’s coronary is going to stop these two from spreading their love all the way from Las Vegas to Lake Como where Ben and Jen are currently on their second honeymoon. I say “couple’s coronary” because if Ben were the only one to go down, Jen would absolutely Weekend at Bernie’s his ass up and down Italy until she’s ready to announce her tragic widowhood…*sotto voce* On the JLo.

Usually, people wait a year or more before going on a second honeymoon but those people are usually poor which sadly, makes them ugly. But not these two! Blessed with the stamina of 50 wild stallions, white of course, galloping along the beach and the thirst of those same stallions after galloping flat out for over a year with salt water all splashing in their mouths and shit, Bennifer2.0 enjoyed an almost private al fresco dinner at the luxury 5-star resort, the Grand Hotel Tremezzo. The Daily Mail reports:

Ben Affleck was spotted vigorously gesturing with his head and hands while out to dinner with his new bride Jennifer Lopez at a ritzy Italian hotel.

The pair were photographed at the Grand Hotel Tremezzo on Lake Como in Northern Italy, the first sighting of the celebrity couple since their blockbuster weekend wedding at Affleck’s $8.9million Georgia ‘plantation’ estate.

Ben shook his head side to side and spoke rapidly as Jennifer listened on. His hands flashed up and down and side to side, and he leaned in to Jennifer with a series of animated expressions on his face.

Well, he is in Italy. That’s just how they talk. He mimed his way through France on their first honeymoon. If nothing else, Ben’s an immersive traveler. The Daily Mail adds (some delicious shade):

Jennifer shifted in her seat but appeared to listen intently as her fourth husband spoke.

The two ate alone and shared several smooches as they sat side by side throughout the dinner.

They could be seen looking at what appeared to be photos from their wedding on Ben’s phone, which he held up several times to share with his beaming bride.

The couple left the hotel hand-in-hand around 10:30pm local time.

And if you can believe it, not a paparazzi in sight! Then again, JLo is a mogul so she knows when outsourcing is applicable. Here are the free publicity photos they commissioned by having their second honeymoon on George Clooney‘s front lawn.

Compared to the opulence and drama of their “old Hollywood-themed” (read: Gone With the Wind-themed) wedding at Ben’s Big House, that Vegas wedding was a lark, as was their Paris honeymoon. I guess that means this honeymoon is the real one because they didn’t bring the kids along. But it’s not because those hopeful young faces ruin the illusion that neither of them have aged a day in the past 20 years. According to Us Weekly, Ben gave an “impassioned speech professing his love for Jennifer and her kids and said the children are the blessing and gift that happened because they didn’t get married before and that is proof that everything happens for a reason.” And if you want to know what that reason is, you’ll just have to wait until the next installment of…*sotto voce* On the JLo.

Pic: BauerGriffin/INSTARimages/Cover Images

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