Open Post: Hosted By The Monkey Who Called 911

Back when we used to use our cell phones to make calls instead of making TikToks, butt dialing was the scourge of our times. You could mistakenly call anyone from your dentist to that ex whose number you could never delete because were hoping that they’d finally see the errors of their ways, take you back, and you’d live happily ever after. Now that we send texts to build more personal relationships, butt dials are less common. But if you happen to own a monkey, beware! They’re notorious narcs who are known for calling the cops on your ass. Such was the case at a zoo in California when a rouge primate decided to dial 9-1-1.

Route, the monkey in question, baffled the local authorities after they received a mysterious call. via People:

“We received a 911 call that had disconnected,” the Sheriff’s Office said in a Facebook post Monday. “Dispatchers tried to call and text back but they received no response.”

Deputies sent to check on the call later found themselves at the Zoo to You Conservation Ambassadors in Paso Robles, California. Upon investigation, however, it seemed like no one had placed the call.

However, once they spoke to the zoo employees about who placed the errant call, the cops deduced that it must’ve been a monkey. I feel sorry for the high employee who had to come up with that explanation on the spot.

After speaking to Zoo to You staff, the authorities finally found the culprit.

“They all realized… it must have been Route the Capuchin monkey,” the Sheriff’s Office added, noting the Route probably picked up the cellphone from a Zoo to You golf cart and started randomly pushing buttons.

“We’re told Capuchin monkeys are very inquisitive and will grab anything and everything and just start pushing buttons,” the Sheriff’s Office continued. “And that’s what Route did… just so happened it was in the right combination of numbers to call us.”

Because Route is an animal, she was not taken into custody and interrogated. She was just “a little embarrassed by the whole thing.” So let me get this straight. A monkey managed to commandeer a golf cart, grab a loose cell phone, and dial 911? This sounds fishy. Either Route was deliberately trying to prank the cops, order something from Postmates, or someone is pinning this on her. If I ever get in trouble with the police, I must remember to blame the crime on a chimp! “Officer it wasn’t ME who was speeding, it was the capuchin! The capuchin!”

Pic: Facebook