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August 17, 2022 / Posted by:

Fiendish Feet Yogurt!

I didn’t grow up in the UK and never visited as a child, and also, I sadly never had a long-lost, separated-at-birth twin from Britain who I switched places with after reuniting at summer camp. So I had no idea that these magically weird yogurt cups existed. But reader Marlee, who grew up in the UK, dropped them into my inbox and asked me if we had these across the pond. We didn’t. But if we did, you better believe that my living room would currently be decorated with these timeless antiques!

Fiendish Feet may sound like Quentin Tarantino’s xHamster username, and it might be, but in the 80s and 90s, Fiendish Feet was the name of a yogurt line from UK dairy company St. Ivel. The words “feet” and “yogurt” have no business being put together, but those disgusting foolery makers at St. Ivel did it! Fiendish Feet made its debut in 1989 and initially had four flavors/characters: Spooky Wooky (banana flavor), Fangs a Lot (strawberry), Frank ‘n’ Stein (raspberry), and Rattle ‘n’ Roll (flavor). Here’s a quick Fiendish Feet commercial from the 90s:

Because fuckery reigned supreme in the 80s and early-90s, St. Ivel’s monster feet yogurt became a hit. Hypnogoria says that St. Ivel tossed more Fiendish Feet flavors and characters into grocery store refrigerator sections, including seasonal ones like Ivor Cold Toe (strawberry) for Christmas and Hot Cross Bunny (strawberry, too) for Easter. Throughout the 90s, new flavors were added to the Fiendish Feet line-up (like toffee-flavored yogurt fiends Pharoah Nuff and Slurpy Burpy and black currant-flavored Snortilla the Grunt). There was also a line of Fiendish Feet yogurts with fruit at the bottom and a Fiendish Feet cheese spread called Cheesy Wheesy. Cheesy Wheesy flopped, which is strange, because you’d think everybody would be running to the grocery store to put their mouth over a piece of foot cheese.

Hyponogoria says that the demise of Fiendish Feet started after they sold a line of freezable mousses.  Then the Fiendish Feet yogurt pots got a redesign and that was the end of the end! RIP Fiendish Feet!

But that wasn’t quite the end, the Fiendish Faces once again reappeared in the late 1990s. However this return was to be short -lived, as they returned in their smaller fake leg contour pots, again losing their own fiendish USP. Likewise these made a similar error in pitching to grown-up rather than kids. These were “bio pots” – now that might be a big magic buzz word for the kind of people who wanted “and this was made with fruits that agreed to be the dessert in the first place” assurances all over the packaging, not cartoon monsters and bad joke names. They are generally of the opinion food just have lots of sciency sounding words on it, and picture something natural like a picture of a twig on it. Meanwhile the only things bio that might excite the average kid are bionics and biological warfare. And with that double fail the revived Fiendish Faces vanished rather quickly.

Maybe it’s a good thing that Fiendish Feet never made its way to the US, because if it did, I definitely would’ve made my mom buy me as many Fiendish Feet yogurts as possible. Also in the 90s, my abuelita cleaned and kept every single food container that made its way into our house, so she definitely would’ve kept my Fiendish Feet yogurt pots. And after my abuelita went to the great, big chancelta in the sky, my cousins and I would’ve definitely got into a messy legal fight over her Fiendish Feet collection. Now that shit would’ve been fiendish.

Pic: Hypnogoria

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