Elon Musk Sold $6.88 Billion In Tesla Stock And Challenged Twitter’s CEO To A Public Debate
It’s abundantly clear that Elon Musk doesn’t follow the advice of counsel, otherwise he wouldn’t be pumping his employees full of his “alien” seed. I shudder to think of how much money he wastes on high-powered attorneys just so he can call them into his office and make direct eye contact with them while taking an enormous dump on his own desk. This week Elon’s legal team probably suited up and rubbed some camphor under their noses before stepping into his office to tell him it’s not a great idea to challenge Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal to a public debate about the number of bot and spam accounts on the platform two months ahead of the trial in which Twitter is seeking for force him to uphold his contractual obligation to buy the company for $44 billion. But Elon just stared at them with his beady little eyes and squeezed one out while tweeting “I hereby challenge @paraga to a public debate about the Twitter bot percentage.” Look, I talk a lot of shit about Elon but he’s not completely devoid of skills. Tweeting while shitting is easy, but being able to tweet while shitting on a desk in front of an audience is why Elon stays a #winner.
As Elon prepares for his big Battle Bots match-up, CNBC reports that he’s just shored up some funding by selling 7.92 million shares of Tesla stock for $6.88 billion dollars, just in case Parag doesn’t take the bait and he loses in court, rendering the favorable results of the Twitter poll he conducted useless. People reports:
Before Elon Musk and Twitter head to court, the billionaire wants to meet on the debate stage.
In a tweet on Saturday, the 51-year-old entrepreneur challenged Twitter CEO Parag Agrawal, 38, to a public debate about the number of bot accounts on its platform. Bots, or fake accounts, are one of the reasons Musk’s legal team claims he can back out of his agreement to purchase Twitter for $44 billion.
“I hereby challenge @paraga to a public debate about the Twitter bot percentage,” Musk wrote in the post, which came in response to a tweet about the company’s lawsuit against him.
“Let him prove to the public that Twitter has <5% fake or spam daily users!” he added.
Later that day, Musk opened a Twitter poll asking his 102 million followers to vote whether bot accounts on the platform were less than 5 percent of its user base. With the only two choices being “Yes” and “Lmaooo no,” the latter won with nearly 65 percent of the vote and 822,000 users participating.
Twitter has spoken …
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 7, 2022
Wrong Twitter, numb-nuts. You need to add the @ or else it’s just a bunch of choads talking. I can understand why Elon would rather make his arguments on Twitter rather than in a court of law where the lighting can be very harsh and unflattering, especially for someone with his complexion. However, from a legal standpoint, I’m not sure “Lmaooo” holds up under rigorous scrutiny. Unsurprisingly, Parag hasn’t had the nerve to shit on himself in front of an audience of suits and has “not yet publicly responded to Musk’s debate challenge.” As for his exhausted and overworked Tesla executives, Elon says he has no further plans to sell more stock. Unless he does. Who knows!? Nobody but Elon and the voices in his head. Got to keep those investors on their toes.
Tesla CEO Elon Musk sold 7.92 million shares of the company worth around $6.88 billion, according to a series of financial filings published Tuesday night.
His transactions occurred between Aug. 5 and 9, the SEC filings revealed, following Tesla’s 2022 annual shareholders meeting on Aug. 4 in Austin, Texas.
Earlier this year, the Tesla and SpaceX CEO said on social media that he had “no further TSLA sales planned” after April 28.
On Tuesday, after Musk’s latest stock sales were revealed, Tesla fans and promoters asked the celebrity CEO if he was done selling shares in the electric vehicle business, and if he might buy shares back in the future.
Asked if he was done selling Tesla shares, Musk replied: “Yes. In the (hopefully unlikely) event that Twitter forces this deal to close and some equity partners don’t come through, it is important to avoid an emergency sale of Tesla stock.”
Yes.
In the (hopefully unlikely) event that Twitter forces this deal to close *and* some equity partners don’t come through, it is important to avoid an emergency sale of Tesla stock.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) August 10, 2022
Elon hasn’t disclosed who these mystery equity partners are but I guess we’ll know soon enough if Saudi Arabia’s Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Bin Abdulaziz Alsaud, one of the partners he lined up in early May, stands him up and he’s forced to buy Twitter. Elon will probably post a sick rap dis on Sound Cloud where he rhymes Alwaleed with “smoking weed.“ But if Elon is victorious and worms his way out of the deal, CNBC says he’s planning to launch his own social network called X.com and won’t have to stoop to using Sound Cloud. Hell, he can stream live shits while rapping anytime he likes. Now that’s what I call free speech, baby!
Pic: Patrick Pleul/DPA/Cover Images