Are you tired of getting your hands wet while bathing in the French Riviera? Does it bother you that the sun may be giving you an unsightly tan on your fingers? Worry no more! The master of pimping out products that add very little value to your life but still cost at least a month’s wages, Kim Kardashian is back with a new superfluous piece of clothing that is sure to impress those who hate seeing naked fingers in the water. Swim Gloves. It’s like wet socks for your hands. No, Kim didn’t invent swim gloves, of course. They’ve been around for a while and have been used for swimming and surfing and such, but Kim is trying to make you think you need $48 evening swim gloves to “elevate your swim look.”
When Kim is not stunting with Pete Davidson or getting sued for stealing another company’s name, she works harder than every woman on earth to bless the masses with the latest in fashion innovation. Because hands are “wrinkly and gross” and women should have ANOTHER thing to feel bad about, she has created Swim Gloves to cover those unsightly appendages. Via TMZ:
The reality star’s latest Skims swimwear drop includes elbow-length Swim Gloves ($48) in seven different colors to match the new suits on offer — and they’re selling out surprisingly fast.
The Skims site promises the “trendsetting” opera-style accessories will “instantly elevate your swim look” and “make a sexy splash everywhere you go.”
Sizes range from XXS to 4X, and the mitts are made in nude, black, brown, white and even hot pink varieties, the latter of which TikTok star Bella Poarch models in the brand’s new campaign.
Thank God! I’ve been looking for something that will help me make sexy splashes when I’m frolicking in the ocean. My regular hands have only been able to make normal splashes! Not only that but I’ll finally get to discover if I’m an XXS in forearm size! To the skeptical, these gloves may seem impractical, but they’re perfect for those times when you’re late for the theater because you’ve spent too long at the beach and don’t have the time to change into your formal wear. Since they double as a pair of opera gloves, your outfit will fit right in with the cultured theater audience! For followers of Kim, these accessories have been a long time coming. She soft-launched a version of them back in January and showed off a more current iteration on Sports Illustrated (yeah, I didn’t notice them either).
I have to hand it to her, it was only a matter of time until she began selling palm coverings for the sea. And as with all Kardashian-approved products, this one has already sold out. If you hope to buy a pair, you’ll have to join the waiting list. I can’t wait to see the birth of a new type of tan thanks to these swim gloves. A bronze body with arms the color of alabaster. So chic! I suppose that’s the price one has to pay (and $50+tax) to ensure no one at the Sandals resort gets a load of your disgusting hands. It’s also great for Kim. One less thing to Photoshop away!