Twitter Lusted Over The “Clark Kent” Of The January 6th Hearings (UPDATE)

July 22, 2022 / Posted by:

Last night was the season finale of the January 6th hearings, and yes, it continues to be the most deplorable reality television show ever, but nobody cares about that because it’s depressing. Do you know what isn’t depressing? Hot men. Well, until you try to date one but that’s another story. Last night during the hearings, a mysterious man seated behind witnesses Matthew Pottinger and Sarah Matthews caused the streets to runneth over with panty pudding and thirst after Twitter affectionately dubbed him ‘Clark Kent’, Superman’s alter ego. But unfortunately not much is known about this heroic hottie other than his superpower of inadvertently redirecting the focus of that horrible day onto himself. And now we have the answers to people’s burning (loins) questions, though he’s being very vague about the man’s identity.

I understand that many people aren’t awakening to new information about January 6th because they’re too busy being moist in their nether regions for this unidentified man who has saved the day with his stoic face and good looks. And honestly, in the greater scheme of things would you rather be reminded how crazy our country is or gawk at a handsome man wearing the same ‘What The Hell?!’ expression as the rest of us?

Just Jared reports once the camera caught a glimpse of Clark the hearing was over for most viewers. The real trial became prosecuting this man’s personal life to see if there may be a Lois or Louis Lane waiting at home to soothe him after hearing such nasty testimonies and trying not to laugh while watching the footage of Josh Hawley frolicking with fear out of the Capitol during the attack.

A guy who is being dubbed “Clark Kent” was seen sitting behind witnesses Matthew Pottinger and Sarah Matthews during the hearings on Thursday night (July 21) at the Cannon House Office Building in Washington, D.C.

Former National Security Council member Matthew Pottinger and former Deputy White House Press Secretary Sarah Matthews both testified at the hearings.

Yeah yeah, insurrections, coups, BLAH! Clark Kent became the real kryptonite in this situation with many people wanting to know exactly who he is. And leave it to Twitter to do the necessary investigative work by immediately asking all the hard-hitting questions.

Luckily for us, Chrissy Teigen’s Captain Save-A-Ho, Yashar Ali, had the answers we need, although they’re probably not the ones people wanted to hear.

Yashar also quickly swatted at Andy Cohen’s attempt at a date with Clark Kent by letting him know that Clark Kent is straight:

Some believe that because Clark was sitting directly behind Sarah Matthews, he may be her boyfriend, but that just kills the fantasy. As far as I’m concerned he’s single and ready to mingle. Especially since as soon as everyone saw him, they started singing “Somebody SAVVVVEEEE MEEEE!” like the theme song from Smallville. And by “everyone” I of course mean me.

UPDATE: TMZ says that the “Clark Kent” is a 23-year-old med student.

Pic: Twitter

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