Who Is June’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

July 12, 2022 / Posted by: Michael K

Patti LuPone’s now-legendary Mask Rant (which is my song of the summer and yes, I’m calling it Maskrant Love) won May’s Hot Slut of the Month showdown by getting almost 52% of the votes. Patti LuPone’s Mask Rant will go on to the Hot Slut of the Year semi-finals next year, and now let’s pick June’s HSOTM who will try to take down Patti LuPone’s Mask Rant in 2023. June’s HSOTM battle is a potpourri of random HSOTD hotness from a Texas mystery creature to Oreo’s jizz-busting-looking straws to Xtina’s gorgeously dazzling Pride dick to an award-winning beauty king! As always, the three first choices got the most Facebook likes for the month and the fourth was picked by me. Your choices for June are:

The Mysterious Wolf Creature of Amarillo, the mysterious wolf-like creature who became the IT bitch of Amarillo after surveillance video footage of them sashaying outside of the zoo went viral. We still don’t know the identity of the mysterious creature. So some kind of wolf thing is either continuing to terrorize Amarillo or the person who got caught doing the walk of shame from a Burning Man-themed orgy is thinking to themselves, “Please don’t let anybody find out it was me”

Oreo Sippers, the Oreo straws that came (“Oh yes, they surely came” said everyone looking at that picture of a Sipper in action) and went in 2012.

Xtina’s Bedazzled Strap-On, the rhinestone-encrusted Jolly Green Giant strap-on that Christina Aguilera wielded during her performance at L.A. Pride. That Liberace Leprechaun dildo did double duty because not only did it bring a major touch of sparkly elegance to L.A. Pride, but it also caused some conservatives to clutch their anal beads in disgust!

Mr. Happy Face, the 17-year-old hairless Chinese crested and Chihuahua rescue mix who served enough charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and tentonsofbeauty to win this year’s World’s Ugliest Dog contest.

Voting is below. The winning HSOTM will be named in this space and in Crumbs, next Tuesday, July 19!

UPDATE: Mr. Happy Face is now a two-time award winner, thankyouverymuch because he has won June’s HSOTM contest thanks to getting 49% of your votes! Thanks to all who voted!

Pics: Twitter, Nabisco, Twitter, Instagram

Tags: Hot Slut of the Month

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