Open Post: Hosted By The Man Who Built An Elaborate Contraption To Feed His Cat From Bed

The Laughing Squid has pointed us to a YouTuber named Half-Asleep Chris who has a very relatable problem: every morning at 6:00 AM, he is rudely awoken by a hungry, meowing cat. This loud little food monster is named Ralph, and he rejects automatic feeders (scared of them) and extra food the night before (will eat it all in one sitting and still demand morning yummies). Chris’ wildly overcomplicated solution was to construct a cat food marble run called the MEOW STOPPER – “Mightily Elaborate Overly Whimsical Sloped Transportation Of Pellets for Pestiferously Early Risers”. I mean, my solution would be to incorporate the meows into my sex dreams, but you do you, Chris!

Here’s how the machine works: Chris pulls a cord beside his bed, and ten balls full of cat food are released. They zoom around his house at great heights, traveling through a giant crocodile mouth, down the stairs, into a windmill, a pseudo hamster wheel, and, finally, through a giant open-mouthed Ralph. After that, the balls are cracked open and the food spills into Ralph’s bowl. So, will Ralph take to his new feeding machine? The answer is… no. He doesn’t give a shit. Ralph only wants morning food that comes directly from his groggy father’s hand. Sigh. Typical feline. Here’s the video:

So Ralph continues to terrorize Chris morning after morning, doing his very best impression of a rooster. Honestly, Chris? Be grateful. Ralph is trying to better you. No more sleeping in, get that ass in gear, get to work making moolah to feed your feline! A furry little life coach (who sleeps roughly 16 hours a day).

Pics: YouTube