Two Men Caught Fire In An Explosion While Making S’mores At The Goop Store In Sag Harbor

If there was ever any doubt who is the greater menace to (Hamptons) society between convicted felon Martha Stewart and perpetual pussy mangler Gwyneth Paltrow, then this ought to settle it once and for all. Martha may know how to fashion a shank out of a bar of French-milled soap, but Gwyneth is out here literally setting people on fire. People reports that two men were sent to the hospital after catching fire during an in-store event at Goop’s Sag Harbor location while making table-top s’mores using candle holders filled with rubbing alcohol, “causing a large explosion and flame.” One of the men was so badly injured he had to be airlifted to the hospital and the other left in an ambulance. A spokesperson for Goop says that “no candles were in use at the time of the accidental fire,” possibly in an attempt to counter the rumors that Gwyneth’s vagina smells like burnt hair and BBQ ribs.

Not only do you have to keep a close eye on your snatch when dealing with Goop, apparently you also need to watch your neck, back, and eyebrows. People reports:

Two men were rushed to the hospital after an explosion at Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop store in Sag Harbor Village, New York.

Sag Harbor Village Chief of Police Austin J. McGuire told PEOPLE the incident occurred at Goop’s 4 Bay Street location on June 25 during a small event taking place.

Upon arrival, he said he was informed that stone candle holders were being filled with rubbing alcohol, and eventgoers were using this method to melt marshmallows for s’mores. One of the event managers reportedly had seen this technique used on social media.

However, too much-rubbing alcohol was added to the candle holders before the flames were completely extinguished causing the explosion.

It’s hard to imagine a WASPier way to go than catching on fire while making s’mores as seen on TikTok at a Goop store in the Hamptons. People adds that the two men had to be hosed down with a fire extinguisher before they were taken to the hospital. What a mess. Do you know how hard it is to get potassium bicarbonate out of cashmere? It’s damn near impossible. I smell several lawsuits on the horizon. Unless that’s Goop’s new candle, This Smells Like You’ll Be Hearing From My Attorney.

“I’ve been doing this for 26 years and I’ve seen a lot, but nothing like this,” Chief McGuire told PEOPLE.

“Thankfully there was a fire extinguisher at the location and they were able to extinguish the men, who were outside on a patio,” he said, adding that he is sure the result of the injuries sustained would have been far worse if there was not a fire extinguisher on site.

“Police were able to apply ice packs, but one man, who had a large burn on his back and ears, had to be taken by helicopter to Stony Brook University Hospital. The other, who had sustained facial burns, was transported by ambulance to Southampton Hospital.”

OK, I thought about it. Maybe being struck in the head by a rogue polo mallet while walking the beach in a summer caftan would be more ridiculous. Or getting your pashmina stuck in the spokes of your cruiser bike and getting impaled on the cheese knife in your artisanal charcuterie basket. Well, if there is a WASPier, more ridiculous way to die, I’m sure Gwyneth’s working on how to market it right now. Coming soon: The Goop Guide to the Afterlife, a Handbook for Haunting the Hamptons.

Pic: Cover International