Chris Pratt Cried When The Internet Came After Him For His “Healthy Daughter” Comments

Forget about the moon landing, the return of the McRib, or the series finale of The Golden Girls – where were you when Chris Pratt made the internet practically throw out their backs from cringing too hard when he thanked his wife Katherine Schwarzenegger for giving him a “gorgeous healthy daughter“? Okay, so you were probably sitting in front of a computer screen or a couple of inches away from a smartphone. A redundant question, I know. But now we know where the man formerly known as Chris was when all that was going down, and apparently, he was elbow deep in a box of tissues to soak up a river of salty sad tears.

Last November, Chris thanked his wife for giving him a wonderful life and a “gorgeous healthy daughter,” the then-1 year old Lyla Maria (Chris and Katherine currently have two daughters, with Eloise Christina being born last month). People responded negatively to Chris’ statement, because his first wife, Anna Faris, had given birth to their son, Jack, seven weeks premature. At the time, Chris expressed that he felt sad that the internet came for him like that. Chris recently spoke to Men’s Health about all that backlash, and Chris is SO bummed out that people on the internet took his comments as anything other than an adoring husband celebrating his wife. via People magazine:

“I said something like, ‘Find someone who looks at you the way my wife looks at me.’ And then I gave her some shit in the thing and said, ‘But I love you. I’m so thankful for my wife – she gave me a beautiful, healthy daughter,'” the star explained. “And then a bunch of articles came out and said, ‘That’s so cringeworthy. I can’t believe Chris Pratt would thank her for a healthy daughter when his first child was born premature. That’s such a dig at his ex-wife.'”

“I’m like, That is fucked up. My son’s gonna read that one day. He’s 9. And it’s etched in digital stone. It really fucking bothered me, dude. I cried about it. I was like, I hate that these blessings in my life are – to the people close to me – a real burden.”

Well, I’m sure some of that burden will be lifted when Jack turns 16 and his dad asks, “Okay, so I just got my paycheck for Guardians of the Galaxy 7 – do you want a car, or an actual space ship. I’m in Marvel movies, I can make that happen. I’m also in the Jurassic World movies – I can make a couple of calls and see if I can’t hook you up with a dinosaur too.”

Essentially what Chris was crying over was the fact that he’s so blessed to be a big-time movie star, but that the downside is that everything he says will be dissected online by haters, where it will remain forever, and inevitably be gazed upon by one of his nearest and dearest. But this whole situation kind of proves Chris Pratt’s recent claim that he’s not really that religious (despite seemingly overwhelming evidence to the contrary). If Chris was truly down deep with God, God would have seen Chris start typing out the words, “healthy” and sent Jesus down to Earth to take the metaphorical wheel. So many of Chris’ tears could have been avoided if Jesus had just taken Chris’ phone and suggested he go take some shirtless selfies of him lifting weights instead.

Pic: INSTARimages/FayesVision