Kim Kardashian Says She’d Eat Shit If It Would Make Her Look Younger
Kimberly Kardashian, please – it isn’t enough that your existence has spawned decades of pee jokes, but now you’ve got to throw literal shit-eating into it too? Nasty. But here we are, in the year 2022, with 41-year-old Kim Kardashian admitting that she would gobble down a blue plate special of the hot brown if it meant her face wouldn’t show the natural effects of age. Somewhere, a copy of Photoshop nervously looked at a vat of Botox, and suggested they both seriously begin thinking about filling out job applications, just in case a fecalologist announces an anti-aging poo breakthrough.
Kim’s face hasn’t technically aged since roughly 2014, but apparently, that hasn’t stopped her from obsessing over every single dilated pore, bumpy texture, and surface wrinkle she sees when she approaches a mirror. Kim’s conversation about her desire to age in reverse comes not long after the announcement of her new skincare line, SKKN BY KIM. Because who wouldn’t want to buy overpriced soap and lotion from a woman whose skincare routine consists of barrelling into her plastic surgeon’s office every 30 days and screaming, “OVERHAUL EVERYTHING FROM SCALP TO FEET.” But here’s Kim to tell you why she decided to cash in on…excuse me, dive into the lucrative world of skincare. Essentially, her expertise lies in: being a person who likes to tell people about skincare.
Kim spoke to The New York Times about her latest and most transparently shameless money-making scheme and said she’d do anything to look younger, even eat shit, literally. via Page Six:
“I’ll try anything,” the Kardashians star told The New York Times in an interview published on Wednesday.
“If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might. I just might,” she joked.
Let’s hope that we never get to that point. But on the upside, we already have the perfect theme song for thera-poo-tic anti-aging treatments, courtesy of Kim’s ex-husband.
As Kim says, she’ll try just about anything to look younger, aside from the cheapest, most widely available option out there – aka just giving in and aging like a human being. But I don’t think Kim is joking when she says that she’d consider eating feces every day if some random person simply told her that it would make her look younger. We recently learned that Kim’s sister Kourtney Kardashian is in a strict 4x weekly semen-drinking regimen in an attempt to boost her fertility. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Kim would eat shit in the name of narcissism, delusion, and vanity. After all, those three things are her family’s main motivation for putting out shit year after year; it would make sense that they’d start ingesting it back in eventually.