Elon Musk Orders Tesla Employees To Stop Working From Home And Return To The Office For 40 Hours A Week
For many people, working from home is the one good thing to come out of the pandemic. No more commuting! No more office small talk! No more pants! But Tesla CEO Elon Musk doesn’t give a hoot if his employees are happier working remotely. Variety says that in leaked emails, Elon ordered workers to get their asses back to the office for 40+ hours a week, or “we will assume you have resigned.” Wow, dude’s really gunning for that “Most Evil CEO Billionaire” title, isn’t he?
Elon sent the two emails on Tuesday. The first one’s subject line reads “Remote work is no longer acceptble” (neither is spellcheck, apparently), and says that employees need to be in the office for a *minimum* of 40 hours a week, “or depart Tesla.” So, fired. You’re threatening to fire them, but you’re doing that douche thing where you’re making it seem like they’re making the choice to leave. Lovely. Elon writes that if there are “particularly exceptional contributors from whom this is impossible,” he will review and approve those people directly. He adds that the “office” must be a main Tesla office, not a remote branch office.
In a follow-up email, titled, “To be super clear,” Elon repeats that “everyone” must come back to the office. He says employees can’t try to scam the company by working at “some remote pseudo office,” they need to be “where you actual colleagues are located.” Elon writes that some companies don’t require this, but “when was the last time they shipped a great new product? It’s been a while.” He finishes with this:
Tesla has and will create and actually manufacture the most exciting and meaningful products of any company on Earth. This will not happen by phoning it in.
Modest, humble, empathetic, compassionate, inclusive, adapting to modern times. Here are the emails in full:
Elon Musk on remote work
May 31, 2022 pic.twitter.com/gTw1Bdh18h
— Internal Tech Emails (@TechEmails) June 1, 2022
Yesterday Elon responded to a Twitter user who asked him to comment on the emails:
They should pretend to work somewhere else
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) June 1, 2022
This isn’t surprising. A couple of weeks ago, the news broke that Apple was delaying its plans to have staff return to the office three days a week, and Elon responded with a meme of a lazy dog:
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 18, 2022
Maybe Elon’s just lonely at the office. There’s nobody around to (allegedly) expose his dick to! His many penis scars just don’t look the same over Zoom.
Pic: ABACA/INSTARimages.com