It’s been a minute since we’ve heard any news about mother of every year “Mama June” Shannon. I’d assumed that in her downtime she was just sitting around on the front porch; gnats gnawin’ on forklift foot while gummin’ on sketti and waiting for her next opportunity to assault our eyes and ears and exploit her poor daughters in front of a TV camera. Apparently, it isn’t safe to assume that hearing no news about her is good news, because the “Matron of Marannaise” herself was spending her time putting in the work to further fuck up her family members’ lives and got secret quickie-married two months ago to her newest questionable decision.
According to Us Weekly, the Toddlers & Tiaras, Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and Mama June: From Not to Hot “star” Mama June and her boyfriend of less than one year, auto mechanic Justin Stroud, married at a Georgia courthouse on March 23 of this year. No mention of if any of her four daughters, Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson, Lauryn “Pumpkin” Efrid, Jessica “Chubbs” Shannon, and Anna “Chickadee” Cardwell came to the nuptials, but I’m positive that the finest of pulled pork sandwiches and the coldest of cans of Lipton Brisk were served on the fanciest of super thick paper plates (or they just generously let everyone use two paper plates stacked together to avoid sloppin’ on their good Looney Tunes character t-shirts) to whoever was in attendance.
Although aside from her first husband and father to Honey Boo Boo, Mike “Sugar Bear” Thompson, the dudes that Mama has dated have all been prizes (see: Geno Doak and the couple’s crack adventures, and Mark McDaniel who sexually assaulted one of her daughters and then she still got back together with him after knowing about it), June told Us Weekly that Justin has been a positive presence in her life and that she’s happier than ever:
“The guy that I’m with now that I’ve been with for a minute, he’s just kind of starting to put the broken pieces back together,” she explained. “You know what I’m saying? Putting little jigsaw puzzles back together…I have finally found who June Shannon is after 42 years…I didn’t really know who I was. I was just going about life, just like a lot of us honestly do, and just dealing with whatever.”
Here’s another look at the happy couple:
Last year, Mama shared her journey to remain sober and her attempts to mend her relationship with her kids on Mama June: Road to Redemption, which was a rebranding of Mama June: From Not to Hot.
Mama and Justin are currently trying to make a buck selling merch that features Honey Boo Boo’s signature phrase “you betta redneckognize,” and Justin has already labeled himself as an acTOR on his Instagram bio, so rest assured that their flaming trainwreck of a relationship, marriage, and eventual downfall will be featured on the show whenever it returns.