Prince Andrew Might Be Trying To Butter Up Queen Elizabeth Before Her Platinum Jubilee
If I were Prince Andrew, I might simply choose to disappear into an unused palace drawing room for the remainder of my days, emerging only for a cup of tea and a medium take-out slide from Pizza Express. The disgrace of a very public sexual abuse lawsuit that was reportedly settled using someone else’s money would likely be just too embarrassing for the average person to ever show their face in public again. But Prince Andrew isn’t average, he’s the Duke of Delusion and he reportedly believes he can waltz back into public life with the confidence of a man who just erased everyone’s long-term memories. But his secret weapon isn’t one of those brain wiping pens from Men in Black, but some major face time with his mother, Queen Elizabeth.
It has been previously reported that The Queen would love nothing more than to see her favorite son join in on her 70th-anniversary celebrations during her Platinum Jubilee next month, and that the historic event would be the perfect place for Andrew to make his big comeback into public life. Because apparently, The Queen switched from drinking gin to some kind of magical potion that distorts reality in such a way that you believe anyone wants to see your grossest son ever again. But according to some royal sources, Andrew is allegedly using The Queen’s benevolence and misguided optimism to his personal advantage. The only problem is, that he can’t just sit around and hope The Queen calls him out onto the balcony as a surprise guest on Trooping day. Several royal sources tell The Daily Mail that Andrew is putting The Queen’s lapdogs to shame, by joining her at her side as much as humanly possible, in a shameless self-promotion plot to weasel his way back into public life. via The Daily Mail:
According to royal insiders, he is reportedly driving the five miles from Royal Lodge home for pre-lunch visits to ensure the Queen is ‘comfortable and looked after’.
One royal source told the Mirror: ‘Andrew is doing all he can to make amends for the shame he brought on his family for being involved in such a scandal.
‘He wants to make it up to the Queen which is why he is doing all he can to see her as much as possible.
‘The rest of the family, apart from Her Majesty, are united in feeling that he should stay out of the limelight and keep quiet having left such a stain on the family.’
Exactly how is Andrew making sure his mother is comfortable and looked after? Don’t tell me he’s filing down her corns and massaging her bunions. No, of course not. That’s the kind of dirty work he’d delegate to Fergie.
It sounds like all of Andrew’s emotional manipulation…I mean, hard work, has been paying off. The Daily Mail notes that Andrew will be front and center at a June 13th ceremony at Windsor Castle, alongside all the senior royals. His name will appear in a Court Circular on June 14th, and will attend Garter Day ceremonies as a Royal Knight. The Knights of the Garter used to be aristocracy only, but in recent times, they’ve been pretty much anyone from royals to more common folk being recognized for their public service. But the big point here is that the Knights of the Garter are chosen by The Queen herself without any input from outside sources. So essentially, no one could utter a single, “Errrr….” when Liz suggested Prince Andrew pony up for the Garter Day ceremony.
That’s not to say there aren’t people who are apprehensive about Andrew’s inclusion in Garter Day. The Daily Mail’s sources claim that a whole lot of people behind the scenes are worried that Andrew will steal the spotlight on Garter Day, and not in a good way. In a bad way. More specific? Okay, I guess in whatever way an alleged pedo who never truly faces accountability for his alleged actions would steal the spotlight. That way! But That doesn’t mean everyone in attendance will be thrilled with Andrew’s presence. I bet there will even be some people who boo him. Not that that will matter much to Andrew. He’s so divorced from self-awareness, it won’t even make a dent in his hubris-bloated ego. “Booing? Me? Oh come on now, what did I ever do to you? Unless there’s someone in this crowd that I defrauded, in which case, whoopsies – my bad!”
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