Cara Delevingne Was On Megan Thee Stallion’s Tail All Night At The Billboard Music Awards

May 16, 2022 / Posted by:

I have my suspicions that Doja Cat wasn’t the only person who got turnt during last night’s Billboard Music Awards. According to The Daily Beast, many home viewers noted that Cara Delevegne was on one (or two or three) last night herself, and seemed to be fixated on Megan Thee Stallion in particular. Everywhere Megan went, it seemed Cara and her tongue would pop up out of nowhere like some kind of deranged sex imp. This type of haunting can and will happen to you if you look in the mirror and repeat “Nose Candyman!” three times fast. It probably wasn’t even Megan who said the incantation. Cara could have been summoned by anyone in any of the venue’s restrooms. Cara will manifest near whoever happens to be getting the most attention at that moment. And last night, that person was Megan.

Cara first appeared lurking in the shadows behind the red carpet “muttering indistinguishable nothings” as Megan posed in a custom Thierry Mugler dress that had a little train.

One of the photographers shouted “Cara, get in there, Cara!” which is the opposite of what you’re supposed to shout if you see a wild Cara laying in wait. You wouldn’t spot a rabid raccoon and offer them a sandwich so why would you spot an amped-up Cara and offer her a sexy lady with a tail? Here is the expected result.

Vulture notes that Cara might have been there as Megan’s “plus-one and/or assistant,” and she’s certainly dressed like one. Here’s Cara stalking Megan as she spoke to a reporter.

All she’s missing is a walkie-talkie and a W9. Cara also sat next to Megan during the show, a fact some viewers found surprising in the same way a Jack-In-the-Box with Groucho Marx eyebrows is surprising.

Maybe Cara was bent over covertly trying to pry Doja’s vape pen out of her hand while she was distracted. I don’t know if you can hear but Doja said “I love you two together” to which Megan responds “That’s my bottom bitch,” further suggesting that Megan has actively courted this tooth-gnashing beasty, which then got down on the ground to show its vulnerable underbelly in a sign of submission.

Just remember, folks, the Nose Candyman incantation isn’t inherently dangerous. But it is exhausting. Cara does not (as far as we know) bite, but she will lick, as she did to Azealia Banks last year. The DB reports:

It would seem that Delevingne brings this energy to every room she’s in. Whether she’s appearing at Saturday’s SNL after-party with Selena Gomez and Post Malone or tongue-out with a bottle in hand at an event next to New York Mayor Eric Adams back in March, she’s everywhere—and she’s bringing the party whether you like it or not.

But others noted a pattern of public behavior from Delevingne as of late that’s more concerning than her relentless desire to go until dawn: her apparent disregard for personal space and boundaries when it comes to Black women, citing the visible looks of annoyance from Doja Cat and Megan Thee Stallion, as well as videos from 2021 where Delevingne got on stage with Azealia Banks while Banks was performing at Leah McSweeney’s Halloween party.

Delevingne not only grabbed the mic from Banks while she tried to perform “212” to mutter incoherent rantings but then pawed all over Banks and licked her legs after she relinquished the mic to Banks so she could finish the song. Though Banks is never one to hide how she’s feeling in a given moment, she was in the middle of a show and performing her most popular hit, she couldn’t exactly escort Delevingne away. Besides, Delevingne eventually fell off the stage anyway.

Considering that Cara and Azealia have both been linked with Elon Musk threesome scenarios that might lead to courtroom testimony, my advice to Megan is to make like a stallion and gallop away as fast as she can!

Pic: INSTARImages

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