What if I told you there was a sequel to Barb and Star Go to Vista Del Mar on the way? I think you’d be pretty stoked, I know I would be. But what if I then told you it was directed by James Cameron and that Jamie Dornan is not in it, as far as we can tell? Perhaps your enthusiasm might begin to wane, as mine did while realizing that I was actually watching a teaser trailer for Avatar: The Way of Water, and not Barb and Star 2: Barb and Star Raid Davy Jones Locker. Variety reports that after 13 years, we finally get a glimpse of what James has been doing all this time, and apparently, he’s been trying to clear the licenses for Lisa Frank’s aquatic series of stickers to complete his vision.
Variety reports that Avatar 2 “picks up where the last left off, with Sully and Neytiri building their family on the planet of Pandora and fighting new threats to its burgeoning civilization,” and includes many returning cast members including Zoe Saldana, Sam Worthington and Sigourney Weaver, in a new role, plus new cast members Kate Winslet, Michelle Yeoh and Oona Chaplin. Not a one of them is recognizable as anything other than sort-of-fish faced with dreads vs sort-of-ferret faced with dreads. Here’s the trailer featuring a modified papyrus font.
Now calm down. It’s possible Jamie Dornan is actually in this, we just don’t recognize him with his skin off. Avatar 2: Aqua Blue Man Group will be arriving in December. It was originally slated for release way back in 2014, but it probably took James a while to realize he didn’t actually need to throw his actors into the drink wearing 25 pounds of wet weave on their heads, and that he could just add that in post with the tails and nobody would know the difference. I sure can’t tell, they look like any old weave you’d see on Game of Thrones or Beyoncé. AndAvatar 3 and parts of Avatar 4 are already in the can. Variety reports:
In his Variety Directors on Directors conversation with Denis Villeneuve back in December, Cameron said he combined the filming process for the first two sequels, plus “a little bit of ‘4.’”
“We mixed the schedules for ‘2’ and ‘3’ together, based on the types of scenes and the environments,” Cameron said. “I said, let’s just treat it like it’s a six-hour miniseries and we’re only going to go to Frankfurt once. We’re going to shoot all the scenes from ‘2’ and ‘3’ at the same time. That was more or less the motif.”
It’s an incredible undertaking to be sure. Tom Cruise should take note. Had he taken a page out of James’ playbook, he could have shot Top Gun 2, 3, and 4 at once, given himself an H2T Xenu makeover, complete with tail, and flown his Tomcat into an active volcano!