Open Post: Hosted By My Worst Nightmare — Tom Cruise “Poking Fun” At James Corden
I’ve got a friend who hates Tom Cruise with the power of a thousand suns. Always has. The easiest way to troll her is to show her a picture of Tom, preferably one that highlights his, let’s call it his “illusional dental geometry.” She’s also not a big fan of Elvis or Baz Luhrmann. So when we went to go see Swole Vampire Eric at the theater this past weekend, and the trailer for Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis came on, I leaned over and whispered in her ear “is your worst nightmare Tom Cruise starring in Baz Luhrman’s Elvis?” This bitch literally got up and walked out of the theater and didn’t come back until the trailers were over.
After the show, we sat down and had a heart-to-heart. I held her hand, still trembling with rage, and explained to her that Top Gun 2: Farts Aflame was coming out soon, and that she’d need to steel herself for the months to come because Tom was going to be doing The Most. With tears in both our eyes, I apologized for having to be the one to tell her. As we readied ourselves to leave, I reached for my phone, turned it off airplane mode, and found, to my profound horror, that my friend had texted me from the bathroom after she had fled the theater. The text contained a link to this Entertainment Tonight article titled Tom Cruise Pokes Fun at James Cordon’s Late Late Show Departure. And we haven’t spoken since, nor do I think we ever will again. Over 30 years of friendship down the tube. Just. Like. That. No one can hurt you quite like the ones you love. According to ET:
Tom Cruise joined James Corden in studio for one of his first live talk show appearances in some time, and used the opportunity to poke fun at the recent news of Corden’s impending departure from the Late Late Show.
At the top of Tuesday’s episode, Corden introduced the night’s guests — which included Cruise and his Top Gun: Maverickco-star Monica Barbaro — with his traditional quick check-in at their green rooms.
“James! It’s such a privilege to be here, and I’m sorry about the news,” a smiling Cruise shared. “I’m sorry you got fired.”
“But I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you,” Cruise continued, before Corden could correct him. “I’m here for you tonight, and for whatever you need… I would not have fired you.”
Classic Scientology negging. So hilarious! Way to work that Tone Scale, Tom! Here’s the clip.
Don't worry James, @TomCruise is here for you ❤️ pic.twitter.com/rawtMj0Qzm
— The Late Late Show with James Corden (@latelateshow) May 4, 2022
As previously reported, last week James announced that he’s leaving the Late Late Show, saying he’d “really been thinking about it for a long time, thinking whether there might be one more adventure,” but didn’t give any specifics. Could his next big adventure be 1000 years at sea? If so, maybe he and Lady Gaga can duet as a lounge act on the next Freewinds voyage!
Update: My friend and I just talked. I told her that Andrew Lloyd Weber’s Prince! starring Tom Cruise is actually my worst nightmare and let her off the hook.
Pic: Twitter