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The Nestea Plunge!
In the 1970s, emergency rooms were probably filled with people with busted-up necks and jacked backs from trying and failing to do The Nestea Plunge. “Let me guess, The Nestea Plunge?” is probably what an ER nurse said every time a patient came in holding their neck. The Nestea Plunge was part of a big marketing campaign in the 70s and 80s where Nestea proclaimed that their iced tea was so refreshing that taking one sip is like falling back into a pool of comforting freshness. Nestea declared that you could taste the wetness! And yeah, whoever wrote that probably went on to be a prolific headline writer for PornHub.
The Nestea Plunge campaign was launched sometime around the mid-70s and each commercial was pretty much the same. It started with someone melting in the dry heat before taking a sip of some ice-cold Nestea, which opened up an oasis at their feet and they fell back-first into a pool and let the hugs of refreshment take them away. In this one, a road worker is being charbroiled alive by the sun when a family having a picnic nearby (????) hands him a cold glass of Nestea and just one sip takes him from hell to heaven. It’s the capitalism baptism!
In this one, two hot pieces are barely breaking a sweat while whacking at dried weeds or some shit in the middle of nowhere when they just so happen to get their hands on a pitcher of Nestea iced tea filled with ice, and after taking a sip, one of them does The Nestea Plunge in a pool that magically appears in the desert. Basically, the not-so-secret ingredient in Nestea was LSD.
And in this one, legendary groupie icon Pamela Des Barnes plays an overworked and overheated woman at a barbecue who is praying for some cool relief while a singer sings, “Your party needs some wetness…” That’s also a great thing to sing when you’re in charge of grabbing the lube at an orgy. And then Pamela eventually feels the cool relief of taking The Nestea Plunge!
And in the 80s, Nestea turned up the special effects and HIGH ART in their Take The Plunge campaign. Because in this commercial from 1989, a dude working on a barn takes the plunge onto a blue barn door that turns into a sparkling pool:
From the 90s to the 2010s, backs everywhere were safe, because Nestea took a break from The Nestea Plunge. But it came back for a brief minute in 2014 and they went high budget for a commercial where a dude takes The Nestea Plunge. As usual with reboots, The Nestea Plunge’s 2014 reboot was shit, because in the commercial, the dude takes The Nestea Plunge into a refreshing pool before he falls further into the pits of HELL aka the crowd at a concert.
I’ve never done The Nestea Plunge and I’m not going to start because my deductible is too high. Besides, the only way I’m drinking some Nestea is if it’s got booze in it, which would lead to me drunkenly doing The Long Island Nestea Plunge onto the floor. That’s the opposite of refreshing.
Pic: YouTube