Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Fell Into An Outhouse While Trying To Get Her Dropped Phone And Had To Be Rescued

The Kitsap Sun says that on Tuesday, a woman visiting Mt. Walker in Washington’s Olympic National Forest decided to play with stanky fire several times. The first time was when she decided to use an outhouse. The second time was when she decided to look at her phone while using that outhouse toilet. And she got burned because she dropped her phone and it fell deep into that disgusting shit vault of doom. Some of us who remember Baby Jessica and also don’t to be patient zero of some gross new disease would simply sing a haunting acoustic version of the Spice Girls’ Goodbye to our phone and leave. But the woman decided to play with fire AGAIN by trying to rescue her phone and she ended up falling into that toilet and had to be saved by the fire department (seen above posing in front of that woman’s caca-filled embarrassment chamber).

Brinnon Fire Department Chief Tim Manly tells The Kitsap Sun that after the woman dropped her phone, she decided to channel her inner MacGyver. The woman, who was alone, took apart the toilet seat and used dog leashes to keep herself from falling in. Her plan failed and she fell in.

Brinnon Fire Department Chief Tim Manly said the woman, who was at the top of Mt. Walker, had been using her phone and had dropped it down into the vault. After she disassembled the toilet seat, she used dog leashes to try to retrieve the phone and eventually used the leashes to tie herself off as she reached for it, he said. That effort failed and she fell, horrifyingly, into the vault, headfirst.

“They didn’t work very well and in she went,” Manly said.

The woman was reunited with her phone and surprisingly, she didn’t ruin it completely by barfing all over it. She was able to call 911 and firefighters showed up to rescue her. Chief Manly says that firefighters gave her blocks to stand on to reach a harness and they were able to pull her out. The woman was rushed to the hospital after suffering from an extreme case of humiliation. No, she was not physically injured. And after they washed the nasty off of her, she refused to go to the hospital and just wanted to get out of there (to probably take a looooong Hazmat bath).

The woman was washed down and “was strongly encouraged to seek medical attention after being exposed to human waste, but she only wanted to leave,” the department said.

“This was pretty unique,” Manly said of the incident. “I’ve been doing this for 40 years and that was a first.”

It’s a good thing that woman was able to call 911, because if that didn’t work, she’d have to scream for Lassie to save her. And after showing up, Lassie would look in and think, “Err, sorry, girl, but even I have my limits.”

Pic: Brinnon Fire Department