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April 22, 2022 / Posted by:

The sad swaying kiwis who welcomed New Zealand’s Prime Minister to Japan!

Yesterday in Japan, two naked kiwis were spotted swaying to and fro, and if I didn’t already know what kind of kiwis, I’d get the crotch seizures from picturing Taika Waititi and Karl Urban shaking their naked hotness. But no, the swaying kiwis were people in kiwi costumes welcoming New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern to their country. Kiwis aren’t native to New Zealand, but people from New Zealand are called kiwis (after a flightless bird that’s native to the country) and Japan is a major market for New Zealand’s kiwi fruit. But instead of making the kiwis shake their seeds out to the musical stylings of New Zealand’s nightingale Lorde, the kiwis somberly swayed to funeral music. How do you say “THIS IS ART!!” in Japanese while doing a New Zealand accent?

The Guardian says that the Fly Kiwis are known as The Kiwi Brothers and they were part of an event to welcome PM Ardern and also celebrate the start of Japan’s kiwi-selling season.

It was “especially touching when the music got sadder, and the mascots’ dancing changed with it,” said Stuff chief political reporter Henry Cooke, who filmed the performance. He said the mascots were part of an event by Zespri, New Zealand’s kiwifruit export monopoly, rather than a formal Japanese government welcome.

At the event in Tokyo, Ardern said her grandparents used to grow kiwifruit. “This is very literally the fruit of Kiwis,” she said, according to news website Stuff.

Ardern is in Japan as part of her first overseas trip since the pandemic began. Earlier this week she visited Singapore. During her visit to Tokyo she discussed defence with prime minister Fumio Kishida. The two countries agreed to work an intelligence-sharing agreement between their countries, amid growing concern about China’s assertiveness in the region.

Japan is a significant market for New Zealand’s kiwifruit, taking around $600m worth of exports. The event marked the start of the year’s kiwifruit sale season in Japan. The mascots are known as the “kiwi brothers”.

And here’s the performance in all its beautifully weird glory:

Honestly, why have I not been to Japan already (you know, besides the fact that we’ve been in a pandemic for more than two years)?! I mean, even in my wildest acid trip dreams, I’d never hallucinate the magical sight of two kiwis dancing like a sober auntie at a wedding to a sad song.

Pic: YouTube

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