Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 21, 2022 / Posted by:

The Snickers Dick Vein!

I know, I only chose Snickers Dick Vein as HSOTD because I really wanted to type the words Snickers Dick Vein. But seriously, we were almost faced with a scary and confusing future: living in a world without the Snickers Dick Vein! Because one Twitter user tweeted a picture of a Snickers bar that was smoother than the lasered crotch of a hairless cat and it seemed like Snickers did the unthinkable and erased its dick vein. But thankfully, that didn’t happen and Snickers Dick Vein lives!

Snopes says that the rumor of the Snickers Dick Vein’s sad demise started when Mars, the company that makes Snickers, announced that they were changing up the M&M characters including making the hot green M&M less sexy. Joke articles popped up about how Mars was also smoothing out the Snickers bar so it looked less like a square, veiny dick. Then this week, a Twitter user tweeted a disturbing picture that made it look like Mars took a Botox needle to Snickers’ chocolate wrinkles and smoothed it out.

But as everyone made plans to picket outside of Mars’ headquarters while chanting, “BRING BACK THE SNICKERS DICK VEIN,”  it was dramatically revealed that the picture of the smooth Snickers was nearly 10 years old. And then every dick vein-loving slut trollop in the land breathed out a sigh of relief when Snickers tweeted that reports of the Snickers Dick Vein’s death were greatly exaggerated.

The social media intern for Snickers are also earned a bonus by tweeting responses like this:

It would’ve been all kinds of tragic if Snickers really did erase its dick vein because putting a Snickers Dick Vein in my mouth is the closest I’ll get to putting an actual dick vein in my mouth in 2022 and beyond. Snickers Dick Vein crisis averted!

Pic: Mars

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