Alec Baldwin continues his climb into the pantheons of the Famous Fertile Father Hall of Fame with the announcement of his upcoming eighth child last month. Hilaria Baldwin revealed the news. Anyone who thinks that seven little kids are too many little kids likely saw the news and thought, “Listen, Alec – the next trigger you pull should be on a vasectomy because seven little kids is too many little kids.” But if you ask Alec’s first child, Ireland Baldwin, how she feels about all those Baldwinitos, and a whole lot of people have, she’ll shrug and explain that her dad’s constant spawning is none of her business.
Ireland got into the subject of her father’s continued fertility during an Instagram post that actually began with a rant about body positivity and self-esteem. I guess Alec’s appearance in a chat about body positivity makes sense, considering we’re all positive that one day a very specific part of his body will weep, “Enough! Enough! I’m exhausted!” (his penis, I’m talking about his penis). After a few slides of Ireland talking about Camila Cabello, anxiety, internet haters, cellulite, plastic surgery, her relationship, pep talks from her mom Kim Basinger, and living in Oregon, Ireland finally gets on to the topic about her father and all his kids. via Us Weekly:
“I get countless messages from people who are kind of alarmingly obsessed with my father and his family,” the 26-year-old Los Angeles native wrote in a lengthy Instagram post on Wednesday, April 6. “I think a lot of people assume my take on any of this, well here it is for free – it’s none of my business…I don’t care.”
She adds that countless media outlets have reached out to her, asking her for a quote about her dad and stepmother’s next child, and she would like to reiterate over and over again that she doesn’t care. She ends her little social media TED Talk by saying that there are more important things happening in the world than negative gossip about Ireland or her family. Here’s her whole post, and the subject of her dad happens during the third slide.
Ireland sounds like she is over it when it comes to people asking her about her dad’s near-constant state of reproduction, even more so than she’s over the whole rude thoughtless little pig thing. And truly, what did we think Ireland was going to say about her father and his careless disregard for family contraception? Ireland would probably only get real within the comfort of her own home and with a select group of close friends who knew how to keep their yappers zipped. But really, who honestly cares what Ireland has to say about this? Who I want to hear from is Alec’s estate planner. That’s the person I want a direct quote from. I want to hear them sweating over the clicking of a calculator, muttering something about the futility of splitting 30 Rock residuals 8 ways.